Fear's Ghost
by ticklethedragon1
Summary: When Skulduggery and the gang are called into Canada on a mission to rescue Dexter Vex from a Sensitive who manipulates fears, they end up getting way more than was bargained for. Confusing love, witty skeletons, sadistic villains... what more could you ask for? Slightly AU, because things are less depressing since LSDM never happened. Eventual Valduggery.
1. Popcorn

Skulduggery sat in the leather armchair, watching his partner-in-crime attempt to dry her hair. They were in Valkyrie's bedroom, one of them anyway. It was the master suite in Gordon's old house and was decorated to his tastes, all black with red accents. Hardly a thing had been altered since his death almost 7 years ago.

It was just the two of them today, no cases, no evil villains attempting to take over or destroy the world. It should have been peaceful. Except for one minor issue of a PMSing girl.

Valkyrie Cain stood in the doorway to the connected bathroom, a white towel wrapped around her slim form and both hands clenched in the air above her head like she was about to tear her curls out.

"Agh!" she cried, a scowl materializing as she let her hands fall to her sides, "This is _impossible_!"

Skulduggery tilted his head, hoping that by keeping quiet he could avoid being the target of her wrath.

As if he could have such luck.

"And _you_," Valkyrie whirled on him, the anger flashing in her eyes, "You've just _got_ to sit there, don't you! Think keeping quiet will help you?"

Her eyes narrowed, "Well, why don't we try a _new_ tactic? How 'bout coming over here and actually _helping_ me for once?"

He angled his head toward her. "I'm sorry, are we a little cranky today?"

She glared at him, making a low sound in the back of her throat. Was that… was she _growling_?

"I am _not_ cranky!" She bit out from behind clenched teeth.

Skulduggery leaned back in to his chair, unaffected. "Could have fooled me."

"I am _not_!" She threw her arms up in to the air, waving them about. "Oh my Gods, why do you always have to do this? You know how much I hate air stuff! I mean, would it kill you to lend a hand once in a while? I'm just trying to dry my hair!"

Skulduggery sighed. Did all teenagers do this freaking out thing? If so, then it was a miracle that any of them made it to adulthood. "You're supposed to learn how to do this. If I did all your magic for you then you'd never master all the elements." He paused before adding, "To be honest, I don't understand how you still have trouble with this air-"

"Oh shut up!" she spat, and a burst of air came rushing out from her fingertips, racing towards her damp hair. In an instant, it was dry again, and… and….

Valkyrie caught a glimpse of herself in the armoire mirror and shrieked. "It looks worse than _Fletcher's_!"

Skulduggery had to agree with her on that point. Valkyrie's hair stood up straight, reaching towards the heavens like raven coloured stalagmites. It was hideous. It was hilarious. He wasn't sure which one. Luckily, he had the good grace not to say either aloud.

He watched as her lip quivered and she subsequently burst into tears. She made a wild gesture at her Mohawk, desperately trying to flatten it. Her efforts were in vain.

"This _sucks_," she sobbed, "Now I have to wash it again!"

She spun on her heel with an effortless amount of grace, despite the state she was in. But then the knot on her towel came undone and it dropped to the floor, unravelling from her body faster than shadow.

Skulduggery reeled back in surprise at the sudden nudity. He had his spine digging in to the leather seat, and it only really registered that he should not be looking when Valkyrie gave a ragged scream and slammed the door shut. He quickly swivelled his skull in a too-late effort to prevent her panic.

Skulduggery was left with his head turned to the side for no reason. He felt tense.

"Well then." He said, as the rushing of running water made its way to his ears.

* * *

Valkyrie emerged half an hour later, sopping wet and blotchy faced. She clutched her towel tightly to her, as if giving it the equivalent of a death grip would counteract the embarrassment of its previous failings. If nothing else, at least that mishap wouldn't be repeated.

She gave off a quiet presence, taking small steps. Skulduggery stood to greet her.

"Sorry," she mumbled, looking down.

"That's alright," he told her, "Do you want me to dry you?"

She nodded, "Yes, please."

"Towel, off." He said, took off his hat. Skulduggery placed it in front of his face and held up one hand.

Valkyrie was dry almost instantaneously, and this time it wasn't a botched job. "One second!" she warned him, picking up the towel again.

Skulduggery dutifully obeyed, keeping his fedora in front of his eye sockets. "Can I look now?"

"Mhm."

He lifted his hat back to rest on his skull. Valkyrie was making towards the pile of clothes she had left out on her bed. She paused when she saw them, frowned. He noticed that when she did so, there was a little crease that formed between her brows, and he couldn't help but wonder if her face had always done that, or if was just a recent thing. He let the thought sit in his mind for several seconds before deciding it didn't really matter.

Valkyrie's hand lifted the fluffy pyjama bottoms up for inspection. "These aren't the clothes I put out." She turned a confused glance towards Skulduggery.

"They're your pyjamas. I thought that would be obvious."

She raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Yeah, but why are they here instead of my clothes?"

Skulduggery tilted his head. "I thought you needed a movie day."

And then he had the pleasure of watching the light in her eyes change, the misery dissipating into astonishment. Her mouth fell open.

Skulduggery sighed the sigh of one who had an important, yet tedious role to play. "Yes, I'm the best best-friend you could possibly ever have. Now put those on and come downstairs."

He was oddly surprised when she did so without further questioning, shooing him out the door with a thin trace of a smile.

* * *

When Valkyrie got to the first level, Skulduggery was waiting for her on the couch, a bowl of popcorn cradled in one gloved hand. He had been staring at it, she realized. She wasn't even going to try to fathom why. He looked up when he heard her footsteps.

"I figured I'd let you choose the movie."

She rolled her eyes at that. "Only because you're terrible at choosing them. All these silent films, jeez."

He cocked his head at that. "I'll have you know that my taste is impeccable!"

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. The last time she'd let him choose the DVD, it had been some incredibly old black and white film from the early twenties. Not inherently awful, but she hadn't been in the mood.

"And besides," he added in a last ditch effort for redemption, "I _did_ take you to that Norse superhero movie, didn't I?"

"It's called _Thor_!" Valkyrie cried in exasperation.

He waved a hand. "Irrelevant. Sit down."

She smiled, settled down next to him. "Avengers good with you?"

"I've no objection, no."

The both of them leaned back in to the cushions, Valkyrie lying against Skulduggery's ribcage. They sat like that for an uncomfortable length of time.

"Oh hell," Valkyrie said. "Movie?"

Oops. He'd forgotten about that great 'putting the disc in so we can actually watch it' routine.

Valkyrie sat up suddenly, standing, then made for the cluster of DVDs that were strewn about the floor. She muttered curse words under her breath, rummaged around for the disc. When she found it she held it up in silent victory, before snapping open the case and popping the disc in to the player.

She went back to the couch. This time she didn't lean into Skulduggery. She picked up the remote from the table next to her seat and within a minute, they were enjoying wholesome Hollywood entertainment.

"Popcorn?" Skulduggery asked, holding the bowl out to her.

"Oh my Gods, give it to me." she snatched it from his hands, cramming her own fingers in to the dish, stuffed a palmful of kernels into her mouth.

The detective tilted his head at her bulging cheeks. "That is a very attractive look."

Valkyrie's eyes narrowed. She grabbed another fistful of popcorn, raised her arm...

And Skulduggery spent the next five minutes of the movie plucking popcorn from the crevices of his skull and ribcage.

* * *

**AN- Hey, you know what would be really helpful? If you could review. Wow. Wouldn't that be amazing? Think of the decrease in world-suck you could do!**


	2. The Notebook

The movie was okay, in his opinion. Altogether too much CGI for his liking, and the classic hero trope was a bit much, but really, he shouldn't have expected a masterpiece. Skulduggery gave a glance downwards at Valkyrie, who had reinstated herself against his chest at some point during the first few scenes. She looked up.

"So," she said, "which one's your favourite?"

"I beg your pardon?"

She made a grab upward for his hat. He batted her hand away. "Of the characters. Who's your favourite?"

"Is this entirely necessary for you to be asking?"

She pouted. "Of course it is! You _were_ paying attention, weren't you?"

He stared at her. Her eyes widened.

"It better not be Black Widow. I won't have my favourite skeleton detective going on a rant about leather pants!"

"I beg your pardon? I didn't have a favourite."

She sighed, kicked one leg over the other, crossing them. "That's so _boring_."

"Well, who was yours, then?"

He could see her smirk. It was a bit odd to be looking at a person's expressions upside down, but then, this wasn't just a person; this was _Valkyrie_. He could tell if she was frowning or smiling if he was blind.

"Mine," she said, "was Loki."

"Loki?"

"Yep." She made a point of popping her lips on the 'p'.

He remained silent.

"Wanna know why?" she asked him, and because he knew that she would tell him anyway, he nodded.

"Because he's real."

Skulduggery tilted his head in the way that he did when he was sceptical of something. "Valkyrie, I'm not entirely certain that believing in Norse Gods is healthy, and besides-"

She cut him off with a snort. "I didn't mean _real_ real. I meant that his character is believable. He's spent all of his life being undermined and betrayed by his own family. So he does the only thing he knows how to do and tries to prove his worth by being an evil badass and taking over the world."

"I'm not sure how that fits in to the category of 'believable'. I have never known someone to do that. And I've lived a long time. And he didn't really do any of those things well, did he?"

"Skulduggery," she said, and suddenly her eyes went serious, "It's believable, okay?"

Well, he'd give her this one. "Alright," he amended, "he's a good villain. And I can't make fun too much, because I liked his character the most."

"Ha!" Valkyrie cried, pushing herself up, stared right in to his eye sockets from the other side of the sofa. "I _knew_ it! You always have a favourite! Except you probably like him for better reasons than me."

"Better?"

She shrugged sheepishly. "God of Lies? He's kind of hot."

Skulduggery just shook his head. Teenage girls obsessing about people years too old for them. What had his life become?

"Hey," Valkyrie said, punching him lightly in the arm. "I feel like some cheer-me-up food. Wanna get me some ice cream?"

"I'm not your personal slave, Valkyrie. No matter how badly you wish I was."

"I know," she said sweetly, batting her lashes.

"_Not_ your slave." He said seriously.

* * *

Somehow he ended up getting that ice cream anyway. They had enjoyed two more movies after that, Valkyrie choosing both of them. She also managed to finish two large buckets of ice cream in that same time period. Skulduggery didn't know where she put it all. He lacked the organs needed to know why she seemed to need so much of the stuff.

The day was going great when things, as per usual, managed to find their way to hell towards the end of the second movie. It was called 'The Notebook' and was apparently a 'really good romantic movie that's about true love that never dies'. Valkyrie's words, not his.

It had been a good movie, Skulduggery would admit that. Well, a good movie for girls, maybe, but definitely not suited for men of _his_ calibre. Still, it had to make him think. Mages like him and Valkyrie didn't grow old. They rarely had the chance to live in a home and be with their partner when they died. Not peacefully, at least. Most mortal lives ended with a whimper, not a bang. Sorcerers' ended with both. In battle. In humiliation. In _pain_.

Always alone.

Valkyrie seemed oblivious to any of these musings, but she had neglected to warn him that she would still burst in to tears as soon as the credits started rolling. And it truly had been like that. One moment she was fine, if a little quiet, and the next thing he knew, Skulduggery's imaginary ears were being subjected to the high-pitched wailing of a hormonal teen.

"It's just that nothing ever goes right!" she sobbed, drawing her knees closer. She looked up at him. "You know? It's all just: oh yay we saved the world, now here's another bloody crisis for you! You can handle the apocalypse, right? Because here's the fifth one you've tackled this week. I mean, I can't even talk to anyone, because there's my mum and dad and they don't even know!"

There was a knock at the door. They both ignored it. Valkyrie brought her hands up to her face, covered it with them.

"And Tanith's off on the other side of the world with Ghastly, trying to figure everything out. We _killed_ my reflection, and hell, you know the other day I just got so sick of everything that I went to my _sister_? My little sister, while she was sleeping! I went on a tirade for pretty much ever."

She took in a deep, staggering breath. "It just sucks, Skulduggery. Life just sucks."

Whoever was at the door became more insistent; there were five sharp raps.

He leaned forward, felt awkward. How was he supposed to handle this? Put a hand on her shoulder. "You know you can always come to-"

She cut him off, whirling around to face him, still on the floor. "Who?" she demanded, "Who can I go to? Fletcher?" she bit out a mirthless laugh. "He's always busy. Wouldn't talk to me anyhow. It's so stupid! That's who you were going to say, right?"

She gave a mirthless laugh that was staggered with sobs.

Skulduggery was stunned. "Me." he said quietly, "I was going to say 'me'."

Valkyrie cast him a long, tear-filled glance before scrambling to her feet and rushing up the stairs. He held up an arm to reach for her, intending to do something he hadn't quite figured out yet.

"I'm so _stupid_!" she screamed from the floor above. He traced the noise of her stamping feet to her bedroom.

The sharp resonance of a door being slammed shut made its way towards the detective. Seconds later, it was followed by another one, this time coming from the first level of the house. Whoever had been knocking had let themselves in. Skulduggery didn't worry. He didn't have to strain himself to know who it was; the rhythm of their steps told him. They were coming closer.

Skulduggery didn't move from his position. Then, very slowly, he retracted his one outstretched hand back towards him. He straightened his tie and adjusted his hat just as a one golden-eyed man came into view.

"Well," said Erskine Ravel, "That sounded fun."

* * *

**AN- So here's chapter 2. I've got about 10 000 words written of this so far, just need to edit it. If you've got any suggestions, whether it be about certain pairings, little scenes you want included, or ways to improve my writing, please leave a review. They're always welcome and I'll always listen!**


	3. Another Mission

"_Well," said Erskine Ravel, "That sounded fun."_

* * *

"You have no idea." Skulduggery replied, with a forlorn glance towards the stairs.

Ravel looked at him, a curious light in his eyes. "And you put up with that? I know she's not always like this, but still…"

The dead-man shrugged. "Tonight was bad. It's just…"

He faltered then. If Ravel hadn't known him better, he would have said that old skeleton looked _uncomfortable_. Gods could only fathom why.

"Girl problems." He finished finally, and Ravel groaned, pinched the bridge of his nose.

"_Skulduggery_!" he protested, "I don't want to hear you say that ever again! Listen, I know this is bad timing-"

"Terrible timing, Erskine."

"But there's something rather urgent that I'm going to need you two to attend to."

Skulduggery tilted his head. "When have you ever come to us with something not urgent? And please tell me it was necessary to include that many 'to's' in a single sentence. My brain hurts."

Ravel stared at him.

"_Skull cavity_, then," he amended, "but seriously, Ravel, _please_ word your sentences properly next time."

A crash from the upper floor reminded them both that there was another inhabitant of the house. The tinkling of broken glass was followed by a fair number of expletives, each one gradually becoming more broken with sobs.

Ravel looked at Skulduggery. Skulduggery looked at Ravel.

"Valkyrie?" the skeleton called, "Are you okay?"

"_No_!" came the answering scream, louder than should have been humanly possible, "No, I am _not_ okay! Have you not been listening? Who the hell is here, anyway? It's Ravel, isn't it?"

"Hi," Ravel called to her

She let out a roar of frustration. "_I'm not going on another one of these stupid missions_!"

Skulduggery, fiddled with his tie. "Look," he said, "I don't mean this to be rude, but perhaps there's another time that we can have this conversation?"

Ravel turned away for a moment, his shoulders releasing their tension. "Vex has been kidnapped."

"I'm sorry?"

There was a silence from both parties in the sitting room. Overhead, there was the sound of running feet across hardwood flooring. The figure of Valkyrie Cain appeared at the top of the steps. "He's been _what_?"

Ravel glanced at her, his expression apologetic. "He's been kidnapped," he said, "we think."

Valkyrie's eyes narrowed. Ravel winced. She descended the staircase very slowly, one hand guided along the railing. "You _think_?" she said, voice low, "Which is it, Ravel? Is he or isn't he?"

The man's lids closed. "Have either of you been in correspondence with the Canadian Sanctuary lately?"

Valkyrie frowned. "No. Why would we?"

Ravel chuckled, began to walk towards the kitchen. Skulduggery waited until Valkyrie had gone down the stairs, and then they followed him together.

"Well, it seems that they've gotten themselves in to a bit of trouble," the Grand Mage continued.

She groaned. Her eyes were rimmed red and her face was blotchy from all the crying she'd been doing. Skulduggery wondered what she'd broken. If it had made that much noise, it likely wasn't a good thing to have shattered.

"Don't tell me this is another one of those 'the world is ending' things. I just did that whole gig last month."

"Not quite."

"Thank _Gods_."

"It's just a simple bad guy on the loose, this time. Well, actually, bad _girl_. But she's not half as bad as Darquesse, so really, I think we'll be fine."

Valkyrie stiffened. The action was slight, but Skulduggery had been around for long enough to notice these things. He had to restrain himself from reaching out to her. Had Ravel not been present, he would have.

The Grand Mage continued his speech, "Anyway, it's this Shyonai Revenant woman that's been terrorizing the magical community in North America for the past few weeks. And I mean that quite literally; she's a sort of fear sensitive. Takes your deepest fears and twists them so they seem real. Hallucinations, dreams… all psychological pain. The only reason her name hasn't popped up more is because she was imprisoned ages ago on account of unethical torture and murder."

"What a wonderful person." Skulduggery mused. He tapped his foot lightly on the tile.

"Yes, well, that's why we sent Vex over there, to investigate. If anyone's got a way with the ladies, it's him. Also me, but that's irrelevant."

"And Vex got captured?" Skulduggery asked, visibly concerned.

Ravel nodded. "That seems to be the way of things, yes."

The detective nodded. "Brilliant."

"Wait a minute," Valkyrie stammered, "This isn't some prank is it? You're not kidding? Dexter. Dexter Vex, Dead Man. Kidnapped?"

"That's what I've heard," Ravel told her, somehow keeping his exasperation to a minimum, "If you want any more details, you'll have to go to China. All we know is that he was investigating that case when suddenly his trail went cold. He just disappeared off our radar."

"I thought Vex didn't go on these types of missions." Valkyrie pointed out.

"Does it matter what he usually does? Look, the fact remains that he went there, on _that_ type of mission, and now he's disappeared. We want you guys to go into Canada and find him. Think you can do that for us?"

Ravel might, just _might_ have been losing a bit of his temper. There wasn't any real reason for it, except that his friend was in trouble and any time Valkyrie got over emotional about something it made him uneasy.

Her lower lip trembled. Ravel sighed.

"I'm sorry, okay? Valkyrie, I know you've been busy lately, what with… well last month and all, but there's no one else who can deal with this. As much as they'd like to believe, the Canadian Sanctuary just isn't half as strong as the Americans, and not even close to our strength. If you two don't accept this job, then I don't know who will."

Last month… Valkyrie latched on to that sentence, turned it over and over in her mind. Last month had been one of the worst experiences in her life. It should have been a simple case, just find the vamp cave and go home, but for some reason nothing went as planned. She had found herself in a pit, completely surrounded by the Children of the Night. The only way to keep herself alive had been to let… _her_ out.

And she had come out, all right. Darquesse had arrived with a storm of flame and shadow, manipulating the air like it was an extension of her body. The entire coven of vampires had been destroyed in _seconds_ and that's when things had just gone straight to hell.

Skulduggery had been the only one working with her on that trip (thank _Gods. _If anyone else had _seen_!) and he had arrived shortly after the carnage had been made. He had witnessed his partner tear monsters limb from limb, watched her burn them from the inside, drive them mad with a single nudge to the mind. He had watched her do this, and then had almost watched himself die.

It had been extremely fortunate that Valkyrie had been feeling stubborn that day; Darquesse hadn't been able to shut her out completely. So when Skulduggery first started to plead with her to 'come back, Val, take control', she had listened, though not without a struggle. She had listened to him and she had obeyed.

Skulduggery had escaped with minimal injuries. Valkyrie would never be the same. Who could tell if she would still have her willpower the next time Darquesse decided to emerge?

She didn't even want to think about what would have happened if she hadn't been able to stop….

Valkyrie bit down on her lip to keep it from contorting downwards. Her gaze was cast to the floor, her eyes threatening to spill over with tears. She picked apart pieces of the tile with her gaze, didn't look up.

"Valkyrie?" Skulduggery murmured, and suddenly there was a weight on her shoulder that had nothing to do with her guilt. A good weight. His hand.

She dared herself to look up, if only for an instant. "We'll do it." She said, then swallowed. She blinked back the wet from her eyes and drew upon a smile. "I've always wanted to see Canada, eh?"

Ravel didn't seem to know what to make of that, staring at her with uncertainty. Skulduggery did the equivalent of an eye roll.

Well, at least she was _someone_.

"Er, I'd better be off then," Ravel announced after a somewhat nervous silence, "The Sanctuary has some rather boring but urgent business that absolutely needs attending to. By me, specifically. It can't be Ghastly or Mist or… anyway. You leave tomorrow in the afternoon. Fletcher will be there at 4:00 _sharp_ to pick you both up, and then… well, teleport you, obviously. There'll be no reason to sneak around once you get there; they already know you're coming. Good luck and-"

"Erskine," Skulduggery said smoothly as the man made his way to the front of the house, "enjoy your date."

The man was backing out of the door by this time, and they had, without realizing it, gone after him. But at this well-wishing Ravel's cheeks had turned crimson, and Valkyrie saw him fumble with the doorknob a little. She snuck a peek towards Skulduggery, but he looked as smug as ever.

The door slammed shut, closing off the picture of a very frazzled Grand Mage.

"Date?" Valkyrie screeched once they were alone, "A _date_? With _who_?"

"With _whom_."

"That's a very strange name."

He looked at her. "You're joking, aren't you."

She was pleased to note the sliver of doubt in his tone. "About what?" She asked him, her tone innocent.

"Valkyrie. How do I… oh no. This is… I can't deal with this… I never thought…" His voice seemed stricken, more panicked, "Are you okay? What happened to… was this…Valkyrie?"

She was snickering. She stopped. "Yes, I was joking. All this over some grammatical-"

"You're bleeding." He said.

She frowned, looked down at her arms, her hands, her feet. "I am. Huh. Stupid mirror."

"You broke a mirror?"

She didn't look at him. Why was it that she wanted to cry again? Her voice seemed weak and insubstantial. It wavered. "Yeah. I guess I did. _Ow_, that _hurts_."

He gripped her arm, already tugging her to the bathroom.

"It _hurts_!" She exclaimed again in disbelief, staring down at herself like her injury was some anomaly.

"You seem surprised."

"No, I'm annoyed! Why am I _hurt_? It was just a mirror! I didn't even need to step on it… I didn't need to…."

"Valkyrie," he said, drawing all her attention towards those hollow sockets in his skull. They had reached the bathroom now. "You still have glass in your feet."

Oh. That's why. She gave an attempt at a laugh. It failed miserably. "I'm kind of an idiot, yeah?"

"Yes. You are."

"A really big idiot?"

"Yep."

"Bigger than Scapegrace?"

He hesitated, shaking the image out of his head. "Now that's a bit _too_ far. Even for you. Now sit down."

She actually smiled at that one. At least she wasn't at Scapegrace's level. Not yet. Valkyrie sat down.

She was sitting on the edge of the tub, her arms balancing her by pressing her hands against the wall of the shower. Her one foot was being held up in front of her by a kneeling skeleton detective, who was using his un-gloved hands to pick out at the tinier pieces of glass. It stung, but she barely noticed.

When he was done removing all mirror bits from her feet, he drew upon some water to clean the blood. An orb of glistening liquid hung suspended in the air as Skulduggery drew it across her sanguine soles.

"Pretty neat." She noted, appraising the sphere. He gave her a curt nod in reply.

The orb was a dark pink by the time her hands, arms, and feet had been cleaned. It didn't even resemble water anymore.

"That's a lot of blood for one little accident." She said, not really directing it at anyone.

"It is," he said, and his teeth were clenched.

"Maybe I should get Ghastly to make me some armoured socks next time." She'd meant it to be funny, but the comment fell flat.

"Hm."

She looked at him. "Thank you."

That caught his attention. Valkyrie Cain, being polite? His head snapped up to be level with hers, "For what?"

She shrugged, almost lost her balance. He caught her with a gust of air to steady her. "Everything, I guess. Today."

Skulduggery stood, gave an extravagant bow with the tipping of his hat. "Anytime."

She took a deep breath. "This is going to be dangerous, isn't it." She sounded resigned, and a bit cross at the situation.

He nodded.

"Should I even be going, then? I mean, after last ti-"

Skulduggery took hold of both her arms, dropping to his knees again. "Valkyrie, I trust you."

"But what if-"

"There is no one I trust more. I know you can do this. But if you're not up for it, then we don't have to go."

"I just… I don't want…."

She couldn't finish. She hadn't realized that she was crying until he took her into his arms and her tears created a wet spot on his suit. Valkyrie sobbed, and she hated herself for that. Skulduggery held her closer.

"We won't, Val. No one will. I wouldn't let that happen."

Tendrils of fear clenched at her heart. She felt even worse. If she hadn't stopped that night in the cave….

He held her for a very long time. "Dinner?" he asked

He could feel her lips curve into a smile against his ribs. How was it he always knew how to cheer her up? "Sounds like a plan to me."

* * *

**AN- And, here we are. Keep in mind that my updates won't always be this frequent, nor will they be this regular. I just happen to be in the habit of hating my schoolwork, and this serves as a valuable distraction. Sorry about this chapter, anyhow. Mostly filler. **

**If you'd like to complain about something, or tell me I'm amazing, or even (the audacity!) tell me what to improve on, there's this weird little box at the bottom where you can review. Or not, whatever. It's not up to me to dictate how you spend your time. But it would be appreciated!**


	4. Pizza

Skulduggery made Valkyrie prepare the food. Well, if he was going to be perfectly honest, it was mostly him doing everything. She was just helping out. That girl was more likely to eat all the pizza dough than she was to roll it out, more likely to drop the sauce than spread it…

And speaking of sauce…

"Sorry, Skulduggery!" Valkyrie's voice sang at him with a laugh.

He looked down at himself, at his perfectly tailored white shirt. Or, not so white anymore. Right on the shoulder, where nothing used to have been seen but the crispest of seams, was a bright red splotch of tomato goo.

"My _suit_!" he cried, horrified, "What have you done to my _suit_?"

She giggled, waving the perpetuator, a wooden spoon, around as she did so. He reeled back from the line of fire, aghast. "It's not your suit, just that shirt!"

"_This_ is the prime example of why we always _order_ our pizza!"

"Good thing you took your suit off!" And he had, even before they'd started gathering the ingredients. That and his hat were now sitting neatly folded on the couch. Still, good clothes were good clothes, and any damage to his wardrobe was an unforgivable crime.

"I'll have to send this to Ghastly to get it repaired! The stains!"

She had a spot of tomato on her nose. He hadn't noticed it before. It was bright and red and distracting.

"Don't get your ribcage in a twist," she scolded, "It was an accident."

"Like hell it was! You ruined it on purpose!"

She shook her head, grinning so wide it should have been illegal. "Nope! Kinda wish I had now."

"Don't you dare." It was one of those few times where he _really_ wished that he had a face. He could have glared at her hard enough to make her drop dead.

But her eyes had that mischievous gleam to them now, she was brandishing the spoon like it was a weapon. Skulduggery turned his attention towards the pizza pie, absolutely riddled with bumps, and then to the pile of grated cheese that lay on a cutting board to the side. Valkyrie, as it turned out, was a very peculiar pizza eater, and had a pile of turkey slices next to the cheese. But was there anything there that could be used as something to gain leverage over her? Probably, but Skulduggery didn't fancy getting his good shirt and pinstriped pants all dirty.

Just as he was about to settle on throwing the misshapen pile of dough, the sound of liquidy substances being hurled through the air caught his attention. Skulduggery whirled, ducked, was hit in the face with a glob of tomato sauce. Crimson dripped from his skull, droplets hitting his shirt, his totally ruined shirt.

He looked up. His infant of a partner stood with a smirk.

"Valkyrie Cain," he began slowly, "this will take for_ever_ to get out."

"Oops," she said, "You must be wanting revenge, then?"

He tilted his head. More tomato paste oozed out of his nose. "I am _not_ getting into a food fight with you. That is _not_ going to happen. I am _not_ putting my façade on for this."

"That's a lot of negatives, Skulduggery. What's all this about having a food fight? It can just be a one time, you-get-me-back-for-messing-up-your-shirt kind of deal! And who said _anything_ about putting your façade on? In fact, I like it better when you-"

_Thwak_.

Valkyrie pried the dough off her face. She was grinning. "Ack! That got in my _mouth_!"

She set the pie down on the countertop, kept her gaze locked on the very smug, very tomatoey skeleton, reached for the pot of sauce. Skulduggery watched her as her grin became a predatory smirk.

Really, though, if he was going to claim he had more than a single ounce of brains, he should have expected what came next.

Both Valkyrie and Skulduggery went to frenzy, snatching food items off of the counter and whipping it at each other. Skulduggery grabbed the bowl of cheese, dumped it over Valkyrie's head. She took the turkey and flung it at him. The meat stuck to his skull, but he didn't have time to peel it off.

He went for the fridge, flung open the doors. One canister of whipped cream later and Valkyrie had her hair coated with white. She shook her head vigorously, flung the substance everywhere.

"_Skul_duggery _Pleasant_!" Valkyrie shrieked, then ran to where the cereals were kept. "You are _not_ getting away with that!" She grabbed one of the boxes, tore open the bag inside. She grinned wickedly.

Cheerios were somewhat less cheery when they were rattling down one's ribcage. He retaliated by smearing cake icing over her face, stuck a cherry on top of her whipped creamed hair. She smacked him in the arm with a banana. It hurt.

"What is it with you and that fruit?" he asked, yelling it loudly from across the room. They were circling each other around the kitchen island. Valkyrie was still holding her very effective weapon. Skulduggery had a jar of sprinkles in his right hand.

Valkyrie laughed, "Always bring a banana to a food fight!"

Skulduggery rushed at her. She let out a battle cry and jumped on to the counter. Skulduggery raised the sprinkle jar. Valkyrie grabbed another banana as she dived at him. Things were a bit of a blur for a while.

* * *

When the food fight ended, both Skulduggery and Valkyrie were coated in a dusting of flour, turkey, sauce, and a fair share of other unknown items. They were like the most eclectic cocktail ever. Valkyrie still had that cherry atop her head, a near perfect rendition of an ice cream sundae.

They were leaning against the cupboards, the kitchen an absolute disaster. Half the food in the house was gone, used up by the spontaneous wrath of two duelling mages. It was a miracle that they had even managed to get the pizza in the oven.

Valkyrie looked over at her partner. "Well, that was fun."

"It was something," he agreed, "It's just good that you're being fed in half an hour. I'm not sure how much I like you when you're low on food."

Valkyrie snorted, punched him in the arm. "Like you even knew how to make pizza! I had to teach you what the ingredients were!"

"Hey," he protested, "I'm 600 years old! Pizza wasn't even invented when I was human! Or, it might have been, I don't know." he crossed his arms. "And who was it that had to teach _you_ how to properly use all the kitchen equipment. 'I don't know how to flatten dough'… honestly."

She pouted, "I'm not sure that's fair. My parents normally make this sort of stuff. Or we eat out!"

Skulduggery put his head back in reminiscence, sighing. "Back in my day, why our women used to be useful! Imagine! They actually knew how to use their own kitchen!"

"Oh the horrors of today!" Valkyrie exclaimed in mock offense

"Exactly. And the men _never_, _ever_ helped with domestics. We had much more exciting things to do."

"Misogynist pig," she scowled playfully, "I bet that wasn't the case with most sorcerer women."

"No," he said, voice ebbing off. Eyes growing distant. "Not always."

She counted to five. "Skulduggery," she said.

"Yes, Valkyrie?"

"Is the pizza ready now?"

"No, Valkyrie."

"Can you make it ready?"

"No, Valkyrie."

"Not even with special magic stuff?"

He chuckled. "No, Valkyrie."

Her pout deepened. "What's the point of manipulating fire if you can't even use it to make a good pie?"

"Patience is a virtue, my dear."

"That's another virtue I don't have. And call me 'dear' again and I'll kick your ass to England."

"Yes, dear."

She gave a huff, crossed her arms. "I'll kick your ass later. I'm too hungry now."

Skulduggery nodded. "That would probably be wise. Never fight a battle on an empty stomach."

"Like _you'd_ know."

"Just because I'm a skeleton doesn't mean I don't remember some things! And besides, Saracen's drilled this into me more times than I can count!"

She rolled her eyes. "I know, I know. You're a very special skeleton. I know this."

"You'd better. You can think about that next time you decide to ruin my suit."

Oh, well _that_ was just unfair! "Then take the bloody thing _off_ next time! It's not like you have anything to worry about! It's your spine and your _ribs_ for heaven's sake!"

He just looked at her with an indiscernible expression and stood up. She rose after him, looked down at herself. "Ah, _hell_. I'm going to need another shower."

Skulduggery turned, looked at her, laughed. "Girls and their showers," he chuckled, "Better go grab one then! The pizza's almost ready!"

She began to dart up the stairs, but paused and whirled back to face him. He had followed her as she went to the living room, intending on putting away the DVDs.

"Skulduggery," she said, an odd expression on her face. "If you were really, _really_ careful to keep your eyes shut, could you maybe just rinse me off here?"

There was a long hesitation on his part before he uttered a stubborn, "No."

"Please?"

"No."

She looked petulantly at him. "Pretty, pretty, with-a-cherry-on-top please?"

He tilted his head. "Go take a shower and hurry up. You've got 15 minutes until the oven timer goes off."

"Fine."

She ran up the stairs, down the hallway, to the guest bathroom. She couldn't use hers; there was still broken glass everywhere.

Downstairs, Skulduggery listened to the sound of running water. He used his own magic to rinse his bones.

* * *

Valkyrie came back down with her hair wrapped in a towel and a bathrobe around her body. She hadn't needed to shampoo again, but the soap had been a lovely thing to have. She had been glad to wash away the scent of tomato and turkey from her skin, glad to be able to bask in the heat of the water and relax. Lord, it had been a confusing day. Thank goodness for Skulduggery and their movie days.

She was finished cleaning herself by five minutes, and stayed in for another ten. It was only when she could smell baked cheese and bread that she decided it was probably time to get out and dry herself off.

Valkyrie marched right into the kitchen, slippers and bathrobe and all, only to come face to face with a pyjamaed, oven-mitt-wearing skeleton. Her jaw dropped. "Uh…uh…."

"Valkyrie!" exclaimed Skulduggery happily. "You're just in time for pizza!"

Her eyes grazed him up and down. "You… uh… those are some nice pyjamas you're wearing."

He tilted his head. "They're Gordon's old ones. Problem?"

Her brow furrowed. "I've never seen you in pyjamas."

"And now you have. Pizza's on the counter. I should warn you, it's hot."

"Good to know. You're wearing pyjamas."

He walked over to one of the drawers, took the mitts off, placed them in the drawer. "You seem very focused on that fact. Really, it's not such an absurd notion. I'm wearing pyjamas. They don't fit properly; they're your uncle's. My suit is covered in pizza ingredients, so I changed."

"I've _never_ seen you in pyjamas. Do you always wear pyjamas?"

"Haven't since I was alive. Are you quite done?"

Valkyrie made her way over to the pizza, still staring. "I can't believe you're wearing pyjamas. They're even the same colour as your suit!"

He cocked his head to the side, glanced down at himself. "Not the _same_ colour. My suit is a deeper indigo. This is navy."

Valkyrie went for a piece of pizza. It had already been cut in to triangles. She pulled her hand away with a yelp. "It's _hot_!"

"I told you that." Skulduggery said, coming over to examine her hands. He didn't need to, however; they were perfectly fine. "Weren't you listening?" he shook his head sadly, "You never listen to me"

"You were wearing _pyjamas_. I was a bit distracted."

"I'm glad my choice of attire has such an effect on you. I do try."

"I bet you do. Is there any way we can cool this down?"

Skulduggery held out his hands, "Here," he said, and Valkyrie felt a breeze travel near her ear. "Simple as that."

She reached for another slice, and this time it wasn't scalding. It was the perfect temperature. "Couldn't you have done this earlier?" she asked, her words muffled by cheese and crust. "As in, _before_ I burned my hand?"

"You really should try to lower your expectations."

"Sorry. You know I'm grateful." She didn't know why she had to apologize, she just did.

"Yes, I'm aware."

"Good," she said, taking another bite, "This is some damn good pizza."

She was developing quite a mouth on her, she was. Valkyrie looked over to see Skulduggery fiddling with his collar. He couldn't manage to get it folded properly.

"I don't think I like pyjamas." He said. Valkyrie smiled.

* * *

**AN- Filler chapter! Shameless Doctor Who reference, please tell me someone caught it. It was clear as day. I'm actually really sorry about this chapter here, I'm not entirely pleased with it. I know Skulduggery seems a little out of character, and I apologize for that. I have a feeling there's a reason for it, but he hasn't told me what it is yet. **

**To the amazing reviewer who asked for more Valduggery, this fluff should tie you over for a bit. They won't actually be 'together' for a while, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun with them!**


	5. Clothes

"I think you should go to bed now." Skulduggery advised when the timer on the microwave hit 1:00 am. They hadn't really moved from their place in the kitchen. Valkyrie had climbed up on the counter to finish the pizza, _all_ of it, and Skulduggery sat on the floor. They had spent hours just talking about nothing, until conversation became riddled with periods of silence and nonsensical musings, Valkyrie nodding off periodically.

"Mm." she said, her eyes fluttering shut.

She was curled up in a ball on the island counter, stretched out her arms in front of her.

Skulduggery looked upon her face with fondness. "Valkyrie, going to bed involves opening your eyes and getting off the counter. It doesn't mean you just fall asleep right here."

She grumbled a bit, arched her back like a cat. "Why not?"

He chuckled softly, pulling himself to his feet. "Because it isn't very comfortable there, and if you move a little to the left you'll fall in to the sink. Which also happens to have the remnants of our little dispute in it. And I don't think you'll be wanting a fourth shower tonight."

"If I had to take one again, I'd have a bath." She corrected him with a murmur.

Valkyrie didn't show one single sign that she was going to get up anytime soon. So it was with a sigh that Skulduggery extended his offer. "Do you want me to carry you?"

He couldn't believe he just _asked _her that.

"I can't believe you just asked me that." Valkyrie exclaimed, actually cracking open her lids to frown at him. "You're so weird."

"Guess you can walk, then."

Her eyes snapped close suddenly. "Nope," she mumbled, "Carry me?"

He shook his head, but did so all the same.

Gloved hands hooked round her at her knees and shoulders, lifting her up, pulling her to him. She purred sleepily and nestled her head in the cotton of his pyjamas, stifling a yawn as she did so.

"You are incorrigible." He told her, "And this is _not_ happening again."

He seemed to be saying that a lot tonight.

"Wouldn't dream of it," she murmured, the corner of her lips twitching in to a smile.

He carried her upstairs, bridal style, tiptoed carefully across the mirror shards that were strewn throughout the room. A quick glance into the bathroom and it told Skulduggery all he needed to know. She really must have lost her temper; there was nowhere safe to step in there. At least all but one section of the bedroom had remained clear.

He set his partner down on her bed, removing her slippers, placed them at the side of the bed. Valkyrie didn't move much, except to extend her legs out in a stretch.

Skulduggery folded back part of the covers, manoeuvred her body so that it lay beneath them, folded them back again to cover her. Valkyrie snuggled up to her pillow, a faint smile etched across her features. She tugged on the blankets until they were tucked beneath her chin.

"Goodnight," Skulduggery made to exit, already turning away. He had forgotten his hat downstairs; what chance that it had managed to escape the wrath of their food throwing.

"Wait!" Valkyrie cried suddenly, an arm jutting out to reach for him. "Stay?"

He chuckled, circled back to her, knelt by her side. "Stay where?" he asked,

She buried her face in the pillow. "Dunno," she grunted, "just stay. Lay down. Here. With me. Whatever."

"Very eloquent, Valkyrie."

She groaned. "Shut up." Her words were slurred with weariness, their content loosened by exhaustion.

But he was already walking round to the opposite end of the bed, climbing on top, stretching out above the quilt. Valkyrie rolled over in her position. "No," she said, "Under. Bothers me. Traps the blankets."

Somehow, amidst the vagueness of her rather jolted sentences, he caught her meaning, climbed slowly under the covers. It was an unfamiliar situation to be sure, as he didn't really sleep, and when had been the last time he had shared the same bed as a girl? But Valkyrie quickly seized that awkwardness of his and squashed it to dust, scooting closer and closer until her head rested against his throat, and he could feel her heartbeat beating steady against his bones.

An arm wrapped around his torso, warm and pulsing with life. Although he didn't feel qualified to do so, his own hands being cold and hard and utterly dead, he returned the favour, tugging Valkyrie to him.

"Mm." she said

"Mm?"

"Mm. Goodnight, Skulduggery."

"Goodnight, Valkyrie."

Things would become clearer in the morning.

* * *

Well, the sky was certainly clear. Valkyrie wasn't so sure about her head. It ached and pounded with such a fury she might have suspected a hangover had she not been able to remember the entire night, breakdowns and all.

Skulduggery lay next to her, still in meditative sleep. She had one arm around him, her head nestled in to his collarbone. Oh, Gods, she was _cuddling_ him! She scrambled up without disturbing him, almost threw herself off the bed. She glanced up to the clock. The numbers 11:17 blinked at her in neon red light.

"Agh." She moaned and threw herself into her slippers, making her careful way across to the bathroom to change her tampon. How many hours did she have to get packed? They were going to _Canada_. What did she need to bring? It was winter… how cold was it going to be? Did she need snow pants? Valkyrie vowed to ask Skulduggery when he woke up.

* * *

Skulduggery, for his part, lay awake on Valkyrie's bed. He'd been sleeping, well, meditating, until he'd woken abruptly sometime in the morning. He hadn't moved because… well, it didn't seem right to when Valkyrie was so comfortable and obviously, judging from the events the night before, she needed her sleep.

But now she had gone, into her bathroom for some sort of hygiene purpose.

Thinking him to be asleep, Valkyrie didn't even try to be quiet. It made for a rather awkward situation, granted, but it would make it even more tricky if he announced his consciousness.

"Hello," he said when Valkyrie finally came back from the bathroom, "I hope you slept well?"

She didn't even blink. "Yep. Best sleep in ages. How long was it? One to eleven… that's…."

Skulduggery chuckled. "Ten hours. You'd know this if you'd gone to school and learned basic maths instead of making yourself sleep deprived."

"Oi!", she protested sharply, tossing her hairbrush at him. "It's for a good cause! And besides, blame my reflection; she's the one who didn't pay attention!"

"Valkyrie. Your reflection is a mirror of your personality. The amount that it pays attention is the amount _you'd_ pay attention in its place."

Valkyrie scowled. "_Was_." She corrected darkly, mind drifting back to the events the year before, when 'Stephanie' had become a little defective and decided that it wanted to take over Valkyrie's family. Of course, they'd put a stop to that just like everything else, which was why her family now was under the belief that their eldest daughter was off working some volunteering in Nepal. The reflection, unfortunately for it, was dead. Or at least as dead as anything non-living could be. "It _was_ a mirror of my personality."

Skulduggery nodded. "_Was_." He agreed

"Besides," said Valkyrie cheerily; she never liked to let a bad mood settle, "I'm so much cooler when I can do _this_!"

Skulduggery tilted his head. Valkyrie juggled fireballs in her hands. The detective sat up, stood. "Yes, yes you are."

She smiled, extinguished the fireballs and wiped her hands on the skirt of her robe. It was unnecessary, but had become a habit.

"Well, I'd better be off," Skulduggery announced, heaved himself up off the bed, made for the door. "If we're going to Canada in five hours, I need to find myself some good suits."

"You're just going to go home in _that_?" Valkyrie asked, incredulous. Somehow she just couldn't put together the image of a suave skeleton driving a Bentley in blue pinstriped pyjamas. She tried her very hardest to – oh, there it was! She could see it now! Valkyrie giggled.

"Yes," snapped Skulduggery, "Is that a problem?"

"It… maybe…. Oh my Gods!" Valkyrie gasped between bursts of laughter, "I don't know… yes?"

"Well if you hadn't seen fit to cover my clothes in food!"

"Well maybe if you'd just taken off your shirt or worn an apron!"

"You don't understand!" he told her, as they both travelled down the hall. "My clothes are my dignity!"

She snorted. They'd stopped in front of a large round window at the end of the corridor. Warm sunlight streamed in through the frosted glass panes. Valkyrie basked in it. "You must be pretty humbled now!"

"Nonsense! I can make do in times of need! It's not _me_ that adapts to the dignity of the clothes, the _clothes_ adapt to _me_!"

"You just disproved your previous argument."

"I'm wearing Gordon's _pyjamas_!" he cried, "I'm allowed to make a little less sense than usual!"

Okay, time for a subject change. "Why are we not downstairs yet?"

If Skulduggery had had lips, they would have been grinning. "Why, Valkyrie," he said, prying open the window with his bare fingers, "Don't you remember? Doors are-"

"For people with no imagination." She finished with a grin, shaking her head at her feet. By the time she looked up again, Skulduggery had disappeared. She darted to the window, peered out at his fleeing figure.

"Hey!" she shouted, "What do I wear?!"

She heard him chuckle as he reached the Bentley. "Just pack warm!" he yelled back, pulled himself in to the car. "We'll be in Quebec first!"

Quebec. Huh. Valkyrie pulled herself away from the window, went over to her room. Quebec was French, right? Parlez-vous français? She sighed.

Maybe she really should have paid more attention in school. She wasn't even there yet and she'd exhausted the only phrase she knew besides 'Bonjour'.

Sighing, Valkyrie wrenched open her drawers. A plethora of non-matching socks came pouring out.

Did she need woollen ones? Was that too extreme? Normally there was someone there to help her with that stuff.

"Well," she said aloud, "It couldn't hurt to pack some."

'Some' being about every sock in her drawer, of course.

* * *

Two hours and five mini tantrums later, and Valkyrie was still only half packed. She'd realized pretty quickly that one could not toss all her pairs of socks in to her trunk and expect to have space for everything else. But once she'd replaced most of those socks with t-shirts and tank tops, she found she had no idea what else was needed. It didn't help that she'd left a good part of her wardrobe at the Sanctuary and Skulduggery's house, so her fashion choices were extremely limited.

"I quit," she declared loudly, her trunk splayed out next to her. Her room was a haphazard mess of clothes and glass and who knows what else. There was sock on her head. She didn't know how it had gotten there. She took it off.

The room was quiet all around her. "I really do quit!" she said again, shouting to fill the silence. The house didn't respond.

Then there was a sound. A window. Being pried open. 'That better not be anyone trying to kill me again.'

She listened, not moving an inch. There was a muffled curse as the person who was climbing in got stuck. "Bloody hell, I'm stuck!" came the voice. A woman.

A _British_ woman. A British woman with a _Londoner_ accent.

"Oh." said Valkyrie to herself. "That's okay, then."

And it was. Unexpected maybe, but definitely okay. Valkyrie wracked her mind for the last time she'd seen Tanith. It was… well, probably six months ago. A long time.

"Ghastly!" Tanith cried again, "I'm still _stuck_!"

A man's voice now, deeper and amused. "And I'm supposed to help you _how_?"

Valkyrie giggled despite herself, getting to her feet.

"I don't care, just _help_ me!"

"It's not my fault you decided to pick up extra fat!"

"It's _not_ my butt this time and you know that!"

"Well, it's not my fault you decided to go and get pre-"

"Shh," Tanith hissed, "We tell her together! It's supposed to be a surprise!"

Valkyrie rounded the corner, only to find a struggling Tanith halfway through the circle window. "You're _pregnant_?" she shrieked, darting forward to hug her friend.

Tanith gave a groan; she evidently didn't appreciate being squeezed to death while she was trapped in a window. "Nuts, Val. It was supposed to be this big announcement. We had jokes planned and _everything_!"

"Trust me," Valkyrie said, not letting go, "This _was_ funny. And you're _pregnant_! That's marvellous!"

"I see Skulduggery's been rubbing off on you," Tanith said, smiling, "You didn't have that big of a vocabulary last time I saw you."

"The last time you saw me was 6 months ago. A lot can change in that time. And I've always had a large vocabulary. I just prefer not using it."

"I suppose there's that," Tanith admitted, "Care to get me out of here?"

Valkyrie backed off, released her. "Sure," she said with a shrug. She wasn't even going to ask why a pregnant woman would want to go in through such a narrow window. Tanith was Tanith.

Valkyrie took hold of Tanith's wrists, pulled hard. The woman made a face as she came hurtling down the hallway, crashed into Valkyrie, landed on top of her painfully.

"Er, Tanith?" Valkyrie strained to get up.

"Right, sorry." Tanith pushed herself off the girl and straightened, rubbed her hips.

Valkyrie gave her a smile, clamoured to her feet. "Wow," She said,

Tanith raised an eyebrow. "A little speechless, are we, Val? Come on, I'm only 3 months along! And it's not like this was such a big surprise or anything."

"Tanith," Valkyrie blinked, "This _is_ big. This is _huge_! You've been pregnant for 3 months and you only think to tell me _now_? You could've at least sent a text!"

The blonde pouted. "But I wanted to do it in _person_! It's much more special that way! I get to see your reaction!"

Valkyrie wasn't letting her out of the guilt so quickly. She placed her hands on her hips, a false glare on her features. Tanith tried again.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I only found out a week ago."

The glare fell off her face at once, having been replaced by a look of pure bafflement. "You're 3 months pregnant and you only found out last _week_?" Valkyrie eyed her friend suspiciously. "How does that even _work_? Didn't you notice something was off? Seriously, how do you not _notice_ that?"

It was Ghastly who answered from the opposite end of the hall, having entered the house the normal way. Like a respectable person with no creativity. "Tanith's oblivious," he reminded her, "She just thought it was a side effect of getting her mind back. _I_ just thought she hated me. Maybe that Remnant had left its trace."

Valkyrie winced. "Was she really that bad?"

Ghastly gave a nod. "There's no 'was' about it. She's still as vicious as a Cleaver, maybe even worse. But at least we know _why_."

Tanith hurried over to him, hooked an arm around his waist. "I could _never_ hate you, Ghastly Bespoke." Then she turned to Valkyrie, grinned slyly. "But I _am_ awful to him. Made him learn how to cook and everything. I'm rubbish at domestics, and my stomach has decided to commit mutiny. Can't eat anything yummy now."

Valkyrie watched the couple as they exchanged their tender glances and made a face. Watching Tanith make gooey eyes at Ghastly was a thousand times better than when she was with Billy Ray, but Valkyrie wasn't one for PDA. Quite frankly, it made her discomfited.

There was something she was forgetting. Some really important point.

"Hold on," Valkyrie said, "You haven't told me why you're here."

The couple glanced up from their rapture. "Oh," said Tanith, "I thought that would be obvious."

"We're coming with you, of course," said Ghastly.

"To _Canada_?" Valkyrie asked. They both nodded. "What on Earth for?"

Tanith gave a little shrug. Ghastly remained serious.

"Because it sounded like fun!" said Tanith at the same time that Ghastly said:

"Because Vex is my friend."

The two looked at each other, frowned slightly. "Whatever," the blonde told Valkyrie, "What matters is that we're coming. Now where's Skulduggery?"

"Getting his suits ready. And hopefully changing out of those pyjamas."

Well, there was one comment that earned her a bewildered stare.

"Long story." She said quickly.

"Ah." Said Ghastly, "I see."

"I don't," said Tanith, and then her face morphed into one of girlish excitement, "but I want to! Promise you'll tell me on the plane, Val?"

Plane? Wait, what? Valkyrie's head reeled. That hadn't been that plan she'd been operating by. Ravel had said _nothing_ about a plane!

"A plane," she said, "We're going on a _plane_? Like, as in, an _airplane_?"

Tanith gave her a look like she was crazy. "Yes?"

"An actual, mortal airplane. I thought Fletcher was taking us! Why couldn't we teleport?"

"Something about Canada being on somewhat of a lockdown, apparently. Recent development. Happened this morning. Ravel didn't know. Totally nuts, I know." Ghastly explained

_Nuts_. And now he was using _Tanith's_ expressions? Valkyrie needed to get herself away from all the couple stuff. Maybe 'The Notebook' yesterday hadn't been such a good idea.

"Why are they on lockdown? Does Skulduggery know about this?"

"Nope," said Tanith, "And he won't be pleased to hear it!"

"You're right," came a voice from behind Valkyrie, "I'm not."

Valkyrie jumped a million miles in the air, whirled around in surprise. There was everyone's favourite skeleton, just adjusting his hat and closing the round window. "Skulduggery!" she exclaimed

"Hey, Valkyrie!" To Tanith, he said, "Why did you have to go and use it? It's not special anymore."

In a very adult-like fashion, Tanith stuck her tongue out at him.

Skulduggery huffed. "That's not very mature."

"I'm not mature," she reminded him gravely,

"Oh, yes. You're only seventy."

"Age is just a number, right?" She gave him a wink, her eyes flickering to her… boyfriend? Partner? Lover? Valkyrie had given up on labelling them a long time ago. The sooner they got married, the better. Husband and wife. Much simpler.

"Have you told him yet?" Valkyrie asked her, drawing the attention back to herself.

"Not yet," admitted Ghastly.

"Tell me what?" Skulduggery questioned, sounding a bit worried.

Valkyrie's grin grew larger in anticipation. "Oo! Can I tell him? Can I? Or is this one of the things that's supposed to be told by the person who's having the baby? Er… oops."

Everyone stared at her. She cringed, blushing furiously.

"Surprise!" Tanith cried happily, throwing her arms up in the air, "I'm _pregnant_!"

* * *

**AN- A bit longer than usual, yeah? Skul's a bit out of his element here, but eh. I hope we're all pleased with this Ghanith introduction? Yes? No? Sorry about the pregnancy shocker. I had no clue either. Oh, and I don't know which part of London Tanith is from, or even if it matters, but 'Londoner accent' was the best I could do. Hope you all enjoyed! (PS: reviews are like a magical potion that makes me write faster, and I will love you if you write one. But no pressure.)**


	6. Tanith

_"Surprise!" Tanith cried happily, throwing her arms up in the air, "I'm _pregnant_!"_

* * *

"Well," said Skulduggery, "Good for you. That's actually quite marvellous. Of course, it couldn't hurt that you had 6 months together. Alone."

Tanith stepped up and swatted him on the shoulder. "Way to be enthusiastic."

"Hey, I'm _plenty_ enthusiastic! Look at me, I've got this great big grin on my face!"

Tanith snorted, doubled over.

"Skulduggery," Valkyrie said, "You _always_ have a grin on your face."

"Precisely my point!"

"Are we done here?" asked Ghastly as he jabbed his thumb in the direction of the stairs, "Because it's just about 2:00 now and we should probably be getting to the airport. Is everyone packed?"

"Yes," said Tanith and Skulduggery in unison.

"Nope," said Valkyrie

Skulduggery tilted his head at her. "You're not? How could you not be packed?"

"Oh shut up," she pouted, "I have no clue what to wear! Ireland in the winter is one thing, but isn't it colder there or something?"

"Ah," Skulduggery nodded, "You could have asked me, you know."

"You weren't even here!"

"You could have _called_ me!"

"I… no I couldn't!"

"Why not?"

"Because – "

Tanith stepped between them, holding her hands up to separate the squabbling pair. "Whoa, chaps! It's alright, yeah? I've been everywhere, I'll go help Valkyrie pack. You all can head downstairs, find something to do."

"Thank. You. _Tanith_." Skulduggery commended her. He strode towards the staircase, cast a glance back at the tailor. "Ghastly?"

The tailor descended the steps after the skeleton, leaving the girls standing around in the hall. Tanith grinned brightly.

"So," she said, "I help you with your wardrobe, you give me all your secrets?"

"Tanith," Valkyrie said, "You just got back. Can we at least have one _normal_ conversation to catch up first? _Then_ we can get to the secrets part."

The woman gave a scowl. "_Fine_. Have it your way, Val." She started to smile, her eyes gleaming with mischief. "Besides, I'm sure I can fill you in on all my _wonderful_ times with Ghastly. Oh, and how'd you like to know what it's like being – "

"Oh my _Gods_!" Valkyrie cried, putting her hands to her ears and scrunching her eyes shut. "_Tanith_! Whatever, fine! You win! Just promise you'll _never_ tell me about… any of that."

Tanith put a finger to the side of her cheek, looking thoughtful. Valkyrie glared at her.

"You're evil." She accused, only partly joking.

Tanith held her index finger and thumb parallel to each other. "Just a smidgen."

"So evil."

"We wouldn't be having this problem if you had just thought to maybe use a computer. Being awesome mages doesn't mean that we can't take advantage of mortal technology once in a while."

Oh. Computers. Right. Why hadn't she thought of that again?

"Shut up. I'm tired. Skulduggery kept me up late… er, _early_ last night."

Tanith laughed in delight, grabbing Valkyrie's hand, pulling her into the bedroom. "That's a story if I ever heard one! I want all the details! Was it a case? Or were you doing something else…?"

"_Tanith_!" Valkyrie couldn't recall if she'd always been like this, or if the six months of separation had addled her own memories. Hell, maybe it was the aftermath of the Remnant. Did all women get their heads stuck in the gutter when they were pregnant?

"Sorry," the blonde said, and she actually had the grace to look sheepish. "It's just that, you know…"

"No, I _don't_ know, and I really don't want to."

They got in to the room, shut the door. Tanith giggled, looked around at the heap of clothing. "You weren't kidding about not knowing what to pack, were you?"

"Nope."

"Do you even have anything in your suitcase yet?"

"Nope."

"Not even pants?"

"Nope."

"Should I even comment on your incompetence anymore?"

"Probably not. Just help me pack."

And so she did. The pair of them sat on the floor, sorted through all sorts of shirts and trousers and knickers. Valkyrie got around to telling Tanith about her rather eventful movie day. Tanith filled her in on the wonders of the world, somehow managing to keep the gruesome particulars of her love life to a safe minimum.

Of course, that didn't mean the conversation was entirely _comfortable_. Tanith was very talented at bringing up things that Valkyrie just didn't want to talk about.

"And he stayed with you at night? In the same bed? Sleeping?" she asked the younger girl, busy folding a black and white striped tank top, "Just like that? No begging, no threats?"

Valkyrie rolled her eyes, trying to decide between an extra pair of jeans and some old joggers of hers. She settled on the jeans, lobbing the discarded trousers behind her. "I already told you. It wasn't a big deal or anything. I guess I just asked, is all. I was a bit delirious at the time."

Now it was Tanith's turn to look frustrated. She held up some dark green sweater that Valkyrie had completely forgotten about. "Oo, I like this! I really, _really_ like this! Pack or ditch?"

"Neither. You can have it."

"You're an angel," Tanith said, placing the garment on the bed. "And you two had a food fight?"

"Yes…?"

"And he actually… like, he just rolled with it?"

"Picking up on some slang, I see," Valkyrie said, "And yeah, I suppose. He wouldn't stop shouting that it'd never happen again, though."

Had the blonde's smile been any wider, it could have swallowed all of Ireland, and the rest of Europe with it. "I am _so_ going to have to tease him about that. Pyjamas and food fights and domesticity. You didn't happen to take any pictures, did you?"

"What? _No_! Of course not!" she displayed a piece of clothing, all black and lacy and tangled. "What _is_ this, even?"

Tanith took one glance at it. "Too bad. And that's a dress, by the way. You're holding it wrong. It's inside out."

Valkyrie looked down at the thing with disgust. "A dress? A _dress_? When did I get a _dress_?"

The older girl turned towards her suddenly, eyes wide and aghast. "That's _it_," she said seriously, "We get to Canada, I'm taking you shopping."

* * *

It took a lot of effort and a lot of changing the subject, but eventually, Valkyrie managed to be all packed and ready. She had no snowpants to speak of, nor a winter coat. Tanith promised that Ghastly would make them for her, so it wasn't a big deal. Also, they were apparently going shopping once they got to Canada, so there was that.

The two girls headed down to the front hallway with Valkyrie's luggage, where Skulduggery and Ghastly were waiting.

"Nice kitchen," Ghastly told her, "I like what you've done with it."

She threw him a glare, "And I like what you've done with…" she faltered, unconsciously looked to Skulduggery for help.

"Your face!" he supplied.

"My face." Ghastly repeated

"Er," said Skulduggery, "maybe not. Maybe that wasn't the best comeback."

Valkyrie just sighed. Absolutely hopeless.

"Guys," said Tanith, "Let's go. I just helped a certain someone pack for an hour –"

"Thirty minutes," interrupted Skulduggery, "I counted."

" – So I think I deserve some recognition here. Failing that, can we get to the airport now?"

"We all know why you _really_ helped her, Tanith," Skulduggery said, "Don't think we're ignorant to you spending time with Valkyrie so that she can confess what her skeleton in the closet is. You're worse of a gossip than Ghastly."

"You said it," she reminded him, "not me!"

He waved a hand at her in dismissal.

"For the record," said Ghastly, "I don't gossip!"

Tanith gave him a peck on the cheek. "Yes, you do. But don't worry, it's very _important_ gossip. All manly."

He still looked disgruntled, but managed to accept his fate with little more than a huff. "Let's just get out the door, alright?"

Ah, good. Valkyrie's arms were beginning to hurt from holding her suitcase. That was never a good sign. If it was hell to carry now, it would be hell to carry in the airport. She hoped she could check it in luggage, not have to bring it with her.

Skulduggery led the way, and Valkyrie fully expected him to hop in to the beloved Bentley. Instead, they came upon some sort of Toyota; it must have been Ghastly's. It was modern and grey and Valkyrie frowned, her gaze travelling to the far classier automobile that lay further down the driveway.

Why aren't we taking the Bentley?" she asked, tossing her trunk in the boot. "It's better than this ugly thing!"

"Oi," said Tanith sharply, "don't you diss my car! I've seen the Oompa-Loompa. Your taste in vehicles is _terrible_!"

"Because I don't trust the airport to take care of the most precious possession I own." Skulduggery explained.

"What about your hat?" Valkyrie protestded, "I thought _that_ was your favourite."

"Don't be silly, I have plenty of hats. I only have one Bentley. You know it's one of –"

"Yes, we know, Skulduggery. You dote upon that car more often than you look in the mirror," Tanith sighed, "Ghastly's driving. Everybody get in."

Before anybody could tell her otherwise, the woman threw herself in to the passenger seat, forcing the detective and his partner to sit behind them.

"This is undignified," complained Skulduggery, "I _never_ sit in the back. It's for kids. I should be up front."

"Hey," said Valkyrie, affronted, "What about me! I'm not a kid!"

"That's right," he said, "you're not. But if we do this in order of age, you're the youngest, so technically that counts."

She made a face at him. "If we're talking about _real_ kids here, then Tanith should have this place all to herself. She's _way_ more of a child than me!"

"I've got my sword strapped to the bottom of my seat!" Tanith warned, turning to glare, "If either of you start whining again."

"Funny," said Skulduggery, "And I forgot my gun."

Valkyrie groaned. "You didn't! Did you? Lord, you get me in so much trouble if I forget it! You would think the one who _lectures_ you about responsibility would remember his own _gun_!"

"I was distracted!"

"By what? That's no excuse! You never let _me_ make excuses when I forget your gun!"

"When was this?" Ghastly asked, confused.

"Loads of times," Valkyrie told him, before switching her attention towards Skulduggery once more, "I can't believe this!"

"It's really not as monumental as you're making it out to be."

"Oh, sure. _Now_ you say that!"

"You're being a bit harsh, don't you think?"

"I suppose you find this humorous, do you?"

"Not at all. You might want to calm down, though. You're hurting my eardrums."

She lowered her voice a bit. "You don't _have_ eardrums."

"Ah," said Tanith in relief, "subject change. Love that. Let's talk about the case. Anyone actually know our objective?"

"Find Vex," said Skulduggery, serious, "Find Shyonai. Whichever comes first."

"Good plan, that. Any other details I should know about?"

Ghastly was the one to respond. "We go to Quebec to start. That's where he went missing. We talk to people, see what they know. After that, it's up to Skulduggery and his plans."

The skeleton cocked his head at that. "That seems to cover it all, doesn't it? You left out the part about having to visit the Ottawa and Toronto sanctuary, but that's a minor thing. The whole thing will be just a quick mission, really. I wouldn't expect much trouble."

They were on the busy streets of Dublin now, and Ghastly honked angrily at a certain Honda that had cut them off.

"Oo, I'm pretty sure that was illegal," was the comment Tanith had for the situation. "The bastard."

"Exactly how quick is this going to be?" Valkyrie asked worriedly, "Quick as in two days or quick as in shorter than a year?"

Skulduggery chuckled. "Revenant may be evil, but from what I've heard, she spends far too much time on games. I'd say this trip will take maximum a week."

"Oh," she said, "That doesn't sound _awful_."

Tanith laughed, "Don't sound so pleased, Val! It's not like it's another apocalypse thing!"

"No," agreed Skulduggery, "not the end of the world."

* * *

**AN- I should probably say this now. I am not British, I am not well versed in any of the vocabulary. If anyone sees some word usage that's out of place, please tell me, and I can correct it. This chapter was very difficult for me to write. SO MANY DIFFERENCES. Once again, please review, whether it's to tell me how horribly I've abused my vocabulary, or to compliment me on what a brilliant job I've done. As you can probably tell by now, we're in this for the long haul. Goodnight and I love you all. **

**EDIT: thanks to Lorcan Wright for some minor corrections. (I left the first in, because, well, she _was_ away for a while. Probably picked some weird American sayings up on the way)**


	7. Threats

Somehow, they managed to arrive at the airport without anyone killing each other. Tanith didn't run Skulduggery through with her sword, and Valkyrie refrained herself from whining any more than was absolutely necessary.

"We're going to be _late_," she said, as they climbed out. They were in one of the lots connected to the airport, parked next to some filthy black Honda. "Stupid airplanes."

"I agree," said Tanith, "mortal transportation. The scourge of the Earth! If it were up to me, I'd ban it all entirely!"

"Really?" That solution seemed a bit extreme to Valkyrie.

The Londoner scoffed. "No! Of course not! How would we travel? There's only one Fletcher!"

"I," said Skulduggery, activating his façade. Today it was a dark-eyed man with waves of black hair. He was very, very pale. His hat lay atop the mass of curls, but it didn't fit right anymore. "Would have no problem getting around. _I_ can _fly_."

"Shut up," admonished Valkyrie, "That doesn't mean anything unless you can take _me_ with you!"

He gave her a funny look and smiled, straightened his tie, began walking towards the large double doors. They all followed soon after, Ghastly giving a slight shrug in response to Tanith's apparent amusement.

They strode in the airport with extreme confidence, which was only slightly dampened by the glares and strange looks they were given. A pair of security guards eyed them with suspicion.

"Er, Tanith?" Valkyrie hissed, "You might want to, uh, put that sword in your luggage, yeah?"

The woman froze for an instant, her eyes widening. Her hands went to the blade strapped to her back. "Whoah," she said, "Not good. We should probably do a metal check."

"Good idea," grunted Ghastly, nodding, "There's nothing worse than airport interrogations."

"Nothing worse than airport interrogations in _America_," Tanith corrected, "And I speak from experience."

"I'm not even going to ask," Valkyrie groaned, smacking a palm to her forehead. "Tanith, just put the sword in your suitcase. Everyone else, anything weapony, same thing."

"I forgot my gun," said Skulduggery with a small grin.

"You're even cheekier with a face," Valkyrie accused, crossing her arms. "I didn't know that was possible."

He hadn't put his façade on in a long time. "It helps if you _have_ cheeks. And a mouth, for some reason. Fancy that."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes, but she was already laughing. Beside her, Tanith tugged on her shirtsleeve.

"_Val_, come _on_! I put my sword away, and we have a plane to catch!"

"Nobody else has anything they need to stow?"

"Everyone else here was too responsible to not have dangerous things packed away," Ghastly said with a warm glance at his lover. "Except for Skulduggery, of course, who was just forgetful."

"Excuse me," the skeleton said, "But I happen to be of the opinion that my lightning sharp wit is _just_ as dangerous as a gun!"

"I left my stick!" Valkyrie cried out, her face falling. "That's _so_ not cool!"

Tanith giggled, "Where would you have put it?"

Valkyrie gave a cross sounding huff and settled in to a pout. They'd begun to move again, making their way through the crowd of people darting in and out. Valkyrie pushed past a woman who seemed to consist solely of tassels and scarves, her suitcase thumping against her hip as she carried it.

They arrived at the luggage check. The queue was orderly, but extremely long. Ghastly was fidgeting. People were staring at him, which normally wouldn't have been so awful, after all, he was used to it. But Valkyrie was a bit irritated at everyone's ineptitude at _in_conspicuous staring. Honestly.

Skulduggery chuckled, put a hand on her shoulder. "There's a reason most people aren't detectives."

She looked up at him, still scowling. "It's rude. I hate everyone."

"I thought we were past that by now. Isn't that supposed to a teenage thing?"

"Not when everyone is this _rude_."

"Mm. Do you really hate _everyone_?"

Bloody hell, this queue went on forever. They'd been in it for ten minutes, and hadn't moved an inch. "Must be some computer issue," Valkyrie muttered. Then, to Skulduggery she said, "I completely and absolutely hate everyone."

"Even me?" Puppy dog eyes were something that really didn't suit him. She swatted him in the arm.

"No, of _course_ not you! You're not _everyone_."

"No," he said, "I'm special."

She cracked a grin, "That's one word for it. And I don't hate Ghastly or Tanith or Ravel or Vex or Saracen or my Shudder or… okay, maybe just all mortals. Except for my family, of course."

"Well that's a relief. I'm not sure how nice it would be to find out I've been travelling with someone who hates me for seven years."

"Skulduggery," she told him, "I could never hate you."

The corners of his lips twitched upwards.

In front of them, Tanith and Ghastly moved up a few spaces. Valkyrie quickly shuffled up. At least they weren't stuck in place anymore.

A thought occurred to her. "Skulduggery, do you even have a passport?"

He tilted his head, considered this for a moment. "Er, no. I don't believe so."

She pursed her lips, nervously flattened her shirt. "And… do we have any tickets?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"So we have no way of getting on the plane?"

He faced her with a grin. It stretched out ear to ear, thankfully, not in the literal sense. "Not one chance."

Oh, he was _awful_. "You're teasing me, aren't you."

"Hm. I might be being a bit facetious, yes."

"Skulduggery?"

"Yes?"

"I take that back. I do hate you."

He chuckled. He was doing a lot of that lately. "Good to know."

The queue went forward again. Tanith and Ghastly were leaning in to each other, whispering a conversation. Valkyrie couldn't make out what was being said, but from the way Tanith kept giggling and casting glances over her shoulder, she guessed it was at least _partially _about them.

"Skulduggery," she said quietly, "Can you hear what they're saying?"

"I can," he replied.

"Is it something that I should hear?"

He angled his head towards the couple, thought for a moment. "If by 'should' you mean could you hear it without being offended, then no. Probably not."

That _woman_! Valkyrie narrowed her eyes. "So it's something that I'll have to beat Tanith up over, then?"

"In all likelihood, yes."

"Well," said Valkyrie, "She's just going to have to wait. If I recall correctly, there's a certain skeleton that needs a trip to England."

Skulduggery readjusted his hat in the metallic of one man's suitcase. "That certain skeleton. I'm sure his admission wasn't _that_ severe. I wouldn't go making such a fuss about it."

"Oh, it's already a grave issue," Valkyrie assured him, her face displaying not the slightest hint of jest.

Skulduggery blinked. "Did you do that on purpose? Because that was _terrible_."

"I haven't the faintest what you mean!" she exclaimed, falsely offended.

They moved forward again.

"I'm sure you don't," Skulduggery agreed, "I'm sure you absolutely, in no way, do not have a list of horrible skeleton jokes that you're prepared to use anytime you need to either annoy me or change the subject."

Valkyrie blushed, looked sheepish. "We-ll…."

He sighed, went to snap his fingers, thought better of it. "Might as well hear them, then. Now, so they don't catch me off guard and disrupt my thinking process."

"Heaven forbid!" Valkyrie exclaimed with a gasp. "And if you're sure…."

"I'm not," he said.

"Well, if you're being honest about that…."

"I am."

She brightened. "Alright then! Who's the most famous skeleton detective?"

He gave a scoff. "Is that a trick question? It's me, obviously."

Valkyrie laughed. "Nope! Sherlock _Bones_."

He appeared frozen, absolutely livid. "Only joking," he said, "Please stop now."

"What," she smirked, "You didn't find that _humerus_?"

He squinted his eyes shut. "_Please_. Valkyrie, I'm serious."

"Oh, you just don't find them funny because you're _bone dry_."

He put his hands to his ears. "_Valkyrie_. _Please_. I _never_ say 'please'. Stop."

Her smirk was dominated her face. "Okay, fine."

"_Thank_ you," he said. Looking pained.

She smiled, making to hug him. "I _am_ sorry, you know. It's just, well, I know this is going to sound silly, and I know you'll want to kill him after this, but it was _Fletcher_ who gave me the idea."

That did nothing to dissuade his frown, but he did return her hug. "Why on Earth would you listen to _Fletcher_? Of all people, Val! I thought you had more sense than that!"

"But see, that was the plan. Now you want to kill _him_ more than me, right?"

"I always want to kill Fletcher."

She raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I always want to kill Fletcher _more_ than you," he amended, "Happy now?"

"Nope."

He looked at her, incredulous. "You're a very hard person to please, you know that?"

"How do you even manage a passport?" she asked him, ignoring his previous statement.

"The same as I do anything else," he replied, "With effortless grace and style."

"Guys," Tanith cut in, "Do you think we can stop holding up the queue?"

They blinked, glanced around. There was a large gap between them and the couple in front of them. Tanith and Ghastly had already put their luggage on the belt.

"Oh," said Skulduggery, "That's unexpected."

"_Yes_." Valkyrie whispered, pleased to finally let go of her bag. She passed her case up to Tanith, who took it with a patronising smile. Valkyrie stretched her arms out in front of her.

The lady at the desk frowned slightly, but seemed otherwise used to dealing with odd sorts. Tanith gave her a little smile and a wave as they left.

* * *

Security was another issue entirely. Turns out Skulduggery _did_ have a passport. It just wasn't legitimate. Well, none of the passports except Valkyrie's were real. For very obvious reasons. She didn't even want to know what would happen _Tanith_ had her actual age, let alone someone as old as _Skulduggery_!

"I still don't understand how someone whose face changes everyday can have a passport." Valkyrie confessed in Skulduggery's ear.

He reached into his suit pocket, procured a small book. He flicked it open to where his photograph and personal information should have been. It lay blank, the page taking on a shimmery property.

"It's blank." She said.

"It is." He replied.

"So…?"

"Think, Valkyrie."

She peered closer, tracing a finger over the smooth page. When she got to the lower left corner, she felt the texture change in to a ridged symbol. "Sigils," she breathed, "So it doesn't look blank to them?"

"That's China for you!"

"Must come in handy, psychic paper."

He frowned, looked confused.

Valkyrie waved a hand, tucked the passport back in to his breast pocket. "Reference. Never mind."

He didn't question it. They went on.

* * *

The security personnel didn't seem too pleased to encounter any of them. The metal detector protested at Valkyrie's choice of garments, and Tanith, who apparently had no metal on her at all, threw her an infuriating smirk.

The others waited while a man with a badge waved the wand over her. Skulduggery offered a smile. She shot daggers back.

Eventually, once they figured out that she wasn't going to hijack the plane, Valkyrie was allowed through. They had two minutes until boarding time. They had to run.

Valkyrie found herself wishing that China had been there. Just a bat of the lashes and they'd have been approved much faster. Then she realized the implications of that wish and promptly censored it.

They got on the plane. Skulduggery had to stoop when he walked down the narrow corridor.

"Take off your hat!" Valkyrie advised.

"Not a chance," he told her, continuing his journey hunched over, "Every time I take off my hat something bad happens."

"I take offense to that!" Valkyrie hissed. Their conversation was being carried on quietly, in order not to disturb the rest of the passengers. "It's because you didn't have your hat that I'm your incredibly awesome partner!"

"And look at what you're doing! Questioning my judgement at every turn!"

"Are these our seats?"

"Sorry?"

Valkyrie gestured to the rows of people around them. "Are these our seats?"

Skulduggery whirled around. She held up her ticket for him to see. He inspected it carefully, then looked at the numbers on the bulkhead. "Ah, no. We've gone past them."

"Over here!" called Tanith from the way they'd come.

Skulduggery and Valkyrie quickly filed over to their proper seats, settled in beside their friends. She ended up stuck by the aisle. Both adequately humbled, Skulduggery and her remained silent.

"About time you stopped flirting," Tanith grumbled. She was situated next to the skeleton detective. Her arms were folded.

"I don't want to hurt you in front of witnesses, but I will if you keep that up." Skulduggery warned.

The blonde shrugged. "Well, it looks like Valkyrie's already got first place on that list, so you might have to wait."

"I want the window seat," said Valkyrie, "It isn't fair that Ghastly gets the good view. He just spent half a year getting to see things. _I_ just get monsters."

"You're welcome to it," said Ghastly. "Heights make me sick."

Valkyrie beamed at him, stepped in to the aisle. He sat down, replacing her adjacent to Skulduggery. Valkyrie squeezed back in to the row, settled herself by the window. Tanith opened her mouth to say something. Valkyrie clapped a hand to her lips.

"We _weren't_ flirting," she told her.

Tanith's eyes sparkled with amusement. The instant Valkyrie lowered her hand, the woman burst in to barely contained hysterics. "We'll discuss that point later. _Not_ in a public place."

"I'll _murder_ you later," Valkyrie muttered.

"Cheer up, Valkyrie," Ghastly said, "You've got seven hours with her. How do you think _I_ feel?"

"You feel nothing but love and affection for me," Tanith told him, "Because I'm the most amazing person you've ever had the pleasure of meeting."

"You really are." He leaned towards her.

"I really am." They clutched hands.

Skulduggery was pressed against the back of the seat. He turned to Valkyrie, his expression one of intense suffering. She laughed.

"It's going to be a long flight," she said.

He nodded. "A long flight."

* * *

**AN- Okay. This was just pure Valduggery banter. I'm sorry, I'm really neglecting Ghastly. I promise I'll include him in future chapters. The horrible puns were because of a certain reviewer who requested more jokes. I don't think that was what they meant, but hey! I'm not one to let perfectly good jokes go to waste. (Reviews are magical rainbows that fuel my typing. Review.**


	8. Headaches

Valkyrie discovered about five minutes into the air that she really didn't need a good view after all. It had nothing to do with the fact that the only thing to look at was the ocean. Tanith's conversational skills were not even a factor. It was that she just wasn't comfortable with heights.

For the first half of the flight, she felt fairly decent, despite the onset of a headache, and a sense of dread that came creeping up into her heart. Then….

"I feel sick." She exclaimed after three hours of torment, downing her glass of water in one gulp.

"Mm," said Tanith, "I think I've heard that one already."

"I'm _serious_! I hate planes! I hate flying!"

"You didn't mind jumping from one," Skulduggery pointed out.

"I did _so_! But that's not the point!"

"Valkyrie," Tanith said, "what kind of sick are we talking about?"

"Bad sick. Sick sick. What other kinds are there?"

It was Ghastly who answered. "Throwing up sick. 'I need a doctor' sick. Emotionally sick. Scared sick. Ill sick. Headache sick. Dying sick."

"Uh, nauseous?"

"Val," Tanith turned to her with a face full of sympathy. "I just want you to know that if you throw up on me, I will not throw you out of this plane. I will simply be disgusted and may never talk to you again unless it's from a safe distance."

"Thanks," she said, "I love you too."

Skulduggery bent forward to see her. His worry sent wrinkles up his forehead, his lips contorted downwards. That was one thing that she liked about him having a skull for a face. She had never had to see the despondent look whenever they came back from an awful mission, never had to see him cry, never the clutches of fear in his eyes. Of course, just because he was a skeleton that didn't mean he was totally expressionless. She could always tell exactly what he was feeling.

In some ways though, she thought, it must be even _worse_ to not have expressions. Sure, you'd be a mystery to the average person, but to not be able to let your emotions show… to not have _that_ form of release….

"Is it the altitude?"

She shook her head, uncertain. Her arms wrapped around her stomach. She felt _weird_. _Very_ weird. Like the nervousness one gets when they spot a storm on the horizon. "I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about this."

"This being…?" Ghastly prodded.

Around them, the din of anxious people in a small area filled the compartment. A baby wailed.

"_This_. This trip. This case."

Skulduggery's brows furrowed. "Like something bad is going to happen? Like we're entering something bigger than we know? A butt of darkness to swoop down on us if we get any closer?"

Her eyes widened. "_Exactly_ like that!"

He gave a nod. "Then we're just going to have to finish this gig up as quickly as possible."

"No snowball fights?" Tanith seemed crestfallen. "I wanted to take everyone ice skating!"

Despite herself, Valkyrie had to grin. Trust the biggest baby of the group to come up with a solution to her black mood. "_Ice_ skating?" she repeated, "As in, ice _skating_?"

Tanith put on a wide-tooth smile. "Yep! That was the plan!"

"I've never worn a pair of skates in my life!"

"Neither have I." Ghastly said.

"But that's what makes it fun!" Tanith insisted, "I get to teach you and watch you fall on your arse, and Skulduggery has an excuse to irritate Valkyrie!"

"Like he _needs_ an excuse," Valkyrie grumbled.

"And you assume that I _know_ how to ice skate?" Skulduggery said.

This made the woman's grin falter. "Well, don't you? You've lived for what, half a millennium? And you've never skated before?"

"Of course I have!" said the skeleton, straightening his tie. "I just found it odd that you assumed, is all!"

"Half a _millennium_," Tanith emphasized, "It'd be a pretty pitiful existence if you'd never set foot on a rink in that time."

"Ghastly's almost as old as I am," Skulduggery argued, "and look at the state of _him_!"

Ghastly whirled on Skulduggery. "I _resent_ that! I have done perfectly adequate things in my lifetime!"

"Yes, but your proudest accomplishment will always be getting Tanith in the family way."

"What about-" Valkyrie almost made reference to his own child, long deceased, but managed to catch herself before finishing.

"What _is_ your proudest accomplishment, Skulduggery?" Tanith asked him.

He settled back in his chair with a distant smile. "I don't have one."

"Truly?"

"Nope."

"You're being serious."

"Well… the day I learned how to play jazz on the piano. This was in the 1920s."

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"Oh, he's well aware of it," Valkyrie said grimly, "I tell him everyday."

Tanith giggled. "Can't have him getting _too_ much of a big head, yeah?"

"I'm not going to find him a new skull again, so I think we're safe. That and I don't think it can get any bigger!"

"Ghastly," said Skulduggery quickly, "_Your_ proudest moment?"

"Getting Tanith back, of course!"

"That was unexpectedly heartfelt," the detective frowned.

"_My_ proudest moment was when I finally mastered the air element," Valkyrie said, puffing out her chest a bit. Then she realized that she looked like a woman with decidedly looser morals, what with her low cut tank top. She promptly slouched again.

Skulduggery tilted his head, "That hasn't happened yet."

"I know," she declared, "But when it does, it _will_ be my proudest moment! What about you, Tanith?"

The older woman closed her eyes, lost in the moment. "I once decapitated seven people at once. _That_ was fun."

"I worry about you." Valkyrie said, rubbing her temple.

"I worry about her _constantly_." Ghastly told her.

"Oi!" the blonde cried, doing her very best to appear annoyed.

* * *

The rest of the plane ride was spent with equal amounts of banter. Tanith tried to get Skulduggery to tell her what his proudest moment was, Skulduggery skilfully avoided the question, and Valkyrie and Ghastly swapped stories about their infantile companions. Most of their tales involved Tanith, but only because typically, Ghastly was around for when his friend was being an idiot, and when he wasn't, Valkyrie usually let him know of the event immediately afterward.

"She forgot that she couldn't breathe underwater?" Valkyrie spat out her second glass of water at a particularly amusing regalement, bursting into giggles. "That's so… so _mundane_! I thought she would have know better by now!"

Ghastly gave her a smile. It was nice to see him being so open in such a mortal environment. "You would think, wouldn't you? But it was the highlight of Costa Rica. I had to create a great big air bubble around her mouth just so she didn't kill herself!"

"Talking about me _again_, Ghastly?"

There _were_ some downsides to discussing someone who was sitting right in between those having the conversation.

"Just telling Valkyrie about our little adventure in the Caribbean."

"Not painting me in a negative light?"

"Not at all!"

"She won't think any less of me?"

"I promise I won't!" Valkyrie piped up.

"You don't think I'm an idiot?"

"Er." She said.

Tanith seemed surprisingly unfazed by this. "Whatever. I'm sure Skulduggery has more than his share of stories to tell about _you_!"

Pure fear flashed in Valkyrie's eyes. "How about Ghastly and I just talk about _nice_ things from now on and you forget all about that idea?"

"How about you sit here and tell me about all the very interesting things that have happened to you while I was gone?"

"All six _months_?"

Tanith glanced at her watch. "We have time, don't we? Let the boys discuss… erm, cars or jets or something."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm off to the loo."

"When you get back, then!"

Valkyrie gave a nod as she made her way out.

* * *

The bathroom of the plane was a cramped thing. White panels. Fluorescent lighting. Child-sized toilet.

"Perfect for Tanith." Valkyrie murmured, splashing her face with water. She felt like _death_.

Okay, so she hadn't been _lying_ when she said where she was going. She just hadn't been completely honest.

"This must be what hell feels like," she groaned, seating herself on the toilet. The lid was still down. Her face was resting in her hands. She didn't know how she'd been able to keep quiet for so long. It certainly hadn't started out this painful; just a slight headache, and that was it.

But now the pain was the only thing she could think about, a twisting in her gut and a stabbing sensation in her head. It had completely taken away her ability to speak coherently. Which was why she was curled up in the loo, instead of giving a synopsis of half a year of her life.

Valkyrie hadn't been in their a minute when a peculiar feeling came over her, extending from her scalp to the tips of her toes. A light tingling, cold as night.

_Skulduggery, screaming. In pain and writhing on the floor. _

_Someone, a girl, standing over him. Laughing. Dark hair and dark eyes. _

_Darquesse._

Valkyrie reeled in shock, the vision leaving her with a _snap_. She let out a sharp cry, her body breaking in to shivers. Where had that _come_ from? Was Darquesse becoming bolder?

But Darquesse didn't send visions. It wasn't her style.

An image of the future, maybe?

Valkyrie quickly dismissed the notion. She wasn't a Sensitive. And besides, the possibility of such a horror was not something that she was overly fond of.

"I'm not a Sensitive." She repeated it aloud.

But someone _else_ was. Someone very much capable of taking the things that she feared the most and forcing them upon her. Someone who they were flying out to find that very instant.

Shyonai Revenant.

"You're fine." Valkyrie told herself, getting up from foetal position to study herself in the mirror. She looked a bit pale. Her headache was gone. "You are fine."

She opened the door with a smile on her face, eager to see what kind of trouble Tanith had been up to in her absence.

* * *

**AN- Okay, so there were references in that. BBC's 'Sherlock' references. First one to find them (and review) wins. Even if you don't watch the show, review anyway because I love you.**

**On another note, there was a bit more Ghastly here. Still not a conversation between him and Skulduggery, but there's. Some. In. The. Next. Chapter... **


	9. Joking

Tanith, as it turned out, had fallen asleep. This put a rather large dent in to their plans. There was no point in describing one's life to someone who wouldn't even be awake to hear it. Valkyrie didn't mind. It gave her time to process what had happened.

Nobody commented on how long she'd been away. If Skulduggery noticed there was something wrong, he didn't say so. She gave him as real as smile as she could muster and took her place beside the snoring girl.

Was it a bad idea to keep such an important event from Skulduggery? Probably. _Definitely_.

Well, it was done and over with now. She turned her attention to those of her friends who _weren't_ asleep.

The two men were speaking rapidly to each other. Valkyrie didn't understand a word of it. She frowned.

"Skulduggery and I were just brushing up on our French," Ghastly explained to her.

"And _I_ am infinitely better than him," Skulduggery said with more than a hint of pride. "I am absolutely brilliant at languages!"

She tried to force down a smile. Failed. "Of course you are. Isn't it you who's always saying that you're brilliant at _everything_?"

"I might have said that once or twice, yes."

"Or thrice or four times…." she continued, her grin growing wider. She felt better already. What was a minor inconvenience with a fear Sensitive when compared with _Skulduggery_?

"Or five or six times…."

"Or everyday…." She laughed.

Alright, so maybe they _were_ flirting. Just a little bit.

Ghastly cleared his throat into his fist. "In case you two have forgotten, there _are_ other people in the vicinity. Other people _between_ you. That you have to lean around to talk?"

Valkyrie felt the red seep in to her features. "Oops."

Skulduggery didn't miss a beat. "And we're supposed to be complacent while you and Tanith share so many inside jokes that every time you have a conversation with her I practically have to _decode_ it?"

The tailor rolled his eyes.

"I don't know any French." Valkyrie said quietly.

"Well, that was more than a tad out of the blue," said Skulduggery, "But not knowing French… whose fault is _that_?"

"Not _mine_! It was that bloody _reflection_!"

"And _whom_ was it a reflection _of_?"

"My head hurts." Ghastly said.

"Mm too." Tanith grumbled from a semi-comatose state.

Skulduggery glanced around the plane compartment. "Oh, good. You're awake. We should be landing in no time."

The seatbelt sign blinked on again, the captain's voice coming through tinny from the speakers. He announced their arrival.

"See?" said Skulduggery, "No time at all."

* * *

Once the plane had stopped rolling around uselessly, - 'For _ages,_' Valkyrie had complained – the four mages stood. They waited until everyone else had gone before leaving. Tanith rested her head on Ghastly's shoulder. Her eyes were closed. Her arms wrapped around him from behind.

"Still tired, I see," Ghastly chuckled at her.

"Mhm." She pressed a light kiss on to his neck.

He smiled.

Valkyrie watched this process with envy. She had never been in a relationship that offered that kind of tenderness, that sort of deep affection. Fletcher certainly hadn't fulfilled that, and Caelan was so far off the mark for love that she refused to even consider him in her experience.

"Valkyrie?" Skulduggery's voice was low, beckoning.

"What?" She jolted herself back to reality. She had paused in the aisle, caught up in her own thoughts. Skulduggery stood at the end of the path, his head cocked to one side. Valkyrie yawned. "I'm coming."

Why was she so tired?

Her partner stayed by until she had caught up before continuing out of the aircraft. A blast of frigid air hit her on the way. She shivered.

Skulduggery draped an arm around her shoulder, tugging her close. "Cold here, yes? Ah, Montreal. Poutine and hockey and jazz and snow. There's a minus 24-degree difference in temperature here! I hope Ghastly gets to making that coat quickly!"

"How do _you_ know the temperature? We just got here!"

He tapped the side of his head with a gloved finger. "Ah, but I'm smart."

Valkyrie frowned, searching the area for something to disprove his statement. Her eyes alighted upon a large black board with yellow numbering. "No you aren't. You read it off that sign!"

"I'm observant."

"You're a prat."

"I'm a skeleton."

"You can be both!"

"I _could_ be, but I'm not. I'm a perfectly amiable person."

"We've lost them."

That threw him off. "I'm sorry, _who_?"

"Ghastly and Tanith. We've lost them."

"Ah," he scanned the airport for their companions. "No, we haven't! They're just over there, went up ahead. What loyal friends they are, waiting for us!"

They'd arrived at the security check for international flights. They flashed their passports and were off. Past that, Ghastly and Tanith were loitering around.

Skulduggery gave a slight wave in their direction. The couple was resting against a wall near the bathrooms, focused on nothing in particular. True enough, they weren't going anywhere soon.

"You just inspire loyalty, don't you?"

"Can't do much without it," he agreed, nodding.

"Unless you're China."

"Well, she _does_ accomplish a lot from betrayal and backstabbing."

"But she can't fly."

"Well, neither can anyone except me."

"That's right," she said. "Anyone _except_ you."

"It's because I'm special."

She smiled. "You _are_ special."

"Glad you think so. To most people, I'm just a regular old skeleton detective with incredible magic powers."

She punched him. "Oi, there's no call for sarcasm here! I was being nice!"

"Apologies." He disentangled himself from her, bowing deeply. His hat fell off his head.

Valkyrie laughed, bent to pick it up for him.

"You're not holding it hostage again, are you?" They'd reached the bathrooms, and Tanith and Ghastly were staring at the exchange.

"What? Me? Nah." Valkyrie placed the hat on her head. It fit her astonishingly well. She darted over to where Tanith stood.

"Took you long enough," Ghastly admonished, his arms crossed. "I thought you'd never find us."

"I knew where you were," Skulduggery said, "But I do have bigger things to think about. For instance, getting back my hat!"

He lunged for Valkyrie, and she twisted out of his grasp, laughing. He tried again, ran for her, but she darted in to the lavatory door, pointed at the symbol above. She ran off, disappeared in to the bathroom.

'Women' it said, in both French and English. There was a female stick figure for emphasis.

"Damn it," Skulduggery cursed, his hand reaching automatically towards his uncovered hair.

Tanith held no sympathy for him. Figures.

"It's your own fault," she said, "You taught her too well."

"_I_ taught her to always listen to me. I told her on the very first mission we did together that she was supposed to defer to my good judgment." He complained.

"Didn't she completely disobey your orders?"

"She came _after_ me, when I specifically told her to stay put!"

"That's our Valkyrie! Good old, stubborn troublemaker! She chose her name well, don't you think?"

"Valkyrie Cain," Skulduggery considered it, "Yes, she really did."

Ghastly came up to them. "I don't know about any of _you_, but _I_ would prefer to have my luggage with me when I'm in a foreign country that's 30 degrees below freezing."

"Excellent point," Tanith agreed, "You and Skulduggery go get our luggage. I'll go see if Val and I can't hex a hat."

"Valkyrie's not an _Adept_," Skulduggery protested, "And you _can't_ anyhow! It's my _hat_! I _need_ it!"

"We could flush it down the toilet," the woman suggested.

"Don't you _dare_! That's not even funny!"

"Not even remotely?"

"Less than remotely. Not a smidgen of humour."

Tanith chuckled at his obvious panic. "Relax, I _know_! Besides, Val would _never_ let me so much as _touch_ your hat. She may steal it herself, but she won't let any harm come to your precious fedora."

Skulduggery harrumphed, spun on his heel towards the luggage belt.

Tanith gave herself a moment to gloat over her victory before shooing Ghastly away and following where Valkyrie had gone.

* * *

"Val?" she called, "You in here?"

"I'll be out in a sec!" a voice responded from one of the stalls.

Tanith walked past the toilets, faced herself in the mirror. There were circles under her eyes. She could probably have done with a longer nap. She fixed a stray piece of hair that had escaped from its natural order and leaned against the counter.

People filed in and out, mortals, with their goals and lives ahead of them. Tanith's lips twitched at the idea. If there was anyone, _anyone_, who was good at time management, it was those with an average lifespan of 80 years. If she herself had been mortal, she would be approaching the end of her days. Her hair would be gray or white and her skin would be wrinkled and maybe she would have dementia and not know anyone anymore.

"I still haven't forgotten about those six months you have to tell me about!" Tanith said. Was it bad form to talk to someone while they were on the toilet? Likely. Tanith did it anyway.

"I said one _second_!" Valkyrie scolded, pushed open the stall door.

Tanith got to thinking how irritating it was, to have gaps in between the walls and the doors of the stalls. There were cracks just wide enough so that if one wished to, they might look in.

"Oh, hey, Val!"

She still wore Skulduggery's hat. It suited her.

"I suppose there's no sense in reminding you to at least _pretend_ to be normal? When we're in a public place, that is?"

Tanith shrugged. Now she was _sitting_ on the counter. Valkyrie stood in front of one of the sinks, bewildered.

"What do I _do_ with this?" she asked, "How does it turn on?"

Tanith looked at the faucet. "It's motion sensored. Hold you hands under it."

Valkyrie pumped some pink soap in to her palm, then did precisely that.

"Ow!" she hissed, recoiling. "It's _hot_!"

"You've been entirely too spoiled. You play with fireballs for a living. I think you can manage washing your hands with warm water."

"You try! It's scalding!"

"I don't need to," Tanith said, "My hands are perfectly clean!"

"They've got all those germs from the airplane, though!"

She gave a grin. "Good thing I'm not mysophobic!"

Valkyrie scowled. She washed her hands.

* * *

At the luggage retrieval centre, watching hundreds of bags that weren't theirs travel round and round in a circle, Skulduggery Pleasant and Ghastly Bespoke stood.

"Well, I've got my trunk," Skulduggery said, gestured to a leather suitcase beside him, "What does yours look like?"

Ghastly kept his eyes trained on the rotating belt. "I'm going to ask her to marry me."

"I'm sorry?"

The man looked up, a determined expression on his scarred face. "Tanith. I'm going to ask her to marry me."

"Isn't that a bit soon?"

"We've been together for almost a year and she's pregnant."

"Ah," said Skulduggery, "You make a good point."

"I have my moments. Do you think she'd accept?"

"Tanith? Of course! No question about it."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. It's a great idea."

"You're being serious?"

Skulduggery switched to a more solemn demeanour. "Ghastly, I have rarely been _more_ serious. Besides, she'll be giving birth to your child in what, six months?" He chuckled darkly, "Mustn't do ill to her reputation."

"Skulduggery, it's the 21st century. No one cares if someone has a kid before they're married."

"I realize this, Ghastly. You should take it upon yourself to learn when I'm joking."

"I could be your friend for a thousand more years and _still_ not be able to tell when you're having me on."

"Valkyrie does it well," Skulduggery told him. He paused. "_Most_ of the time."

Ghastly shook his head. "Yeah, but Valkyrie's different, isn't she?"

"She's always been different."

Ghastly regarded him carefully. Was it his imagination, or had there been a hint of wistfulness at Skulduggery's declaration?

"Tell you what," he said, "You help me figure out what to do with Tanith, and I'll help you with Valkyrie."

Skulduggery waved his hand in a flippant motion. "I already told you. Just _ask_ – wait, _what_ about Valkyrie?"

"Absolutely nothing about Valkyrie. Forget I said anything."

"I will, actually. For your sake. I do not want to know what you were implying there."

Ghastly sighed. "I can't help you if you won't even open your eyes."

"I typically don't _have_ eyes," Skulduggery pointed out, "And speaking of which, I really need to get out of this faça – oh! Look, there's Valkyrie's luggage."

"Quelqu'un doit se réveiller." Ghastly muttered, "Et ce n'est pas _moi_."

"Quelqu'un doit se _taire_," Skulduggery replied, "Ou je vais le laisser geler!"

Ghastly promptly went quiet. His friend's false eyes were hard and angry. He could see Tanith and Valkyrie coming over to them.

"Your hat is returning to you," he said, nudging Skulduggery.

"Excellent," said the skeleton, still fuming.

"This conversation isn't over, by the way."

"It better as hell be."

"Not if I need help planning the proposal."

"You can manage that yourself."

Ghastly deflated. "Come on, really? You know I'm lost around girls!"

"No," said Skulduggery, his voice lightened a bit, "I mean that you should be able to figure it out for yourself. It would mean more that way. I will help you, but only if you need something simple. If there's a horde of zombies that needs killing before you can propose, or a thousand candles that need lighting in order to set the mood, I'm your man. But I refuse to tell you when or where to ask."

"Right," said Ghastly, "I understand."

"What do you understand?" Valkyrie said, finally joining them. "If you're talking about Skulduggery, then that's impossible, because he's the most straight-faced individual I've ever met. Nothing gets under his skin."

Skulduggery groaned. "I thought we agreed not to tell any more horrid puns."

"They're not puns," she insisted, "They're _jokes_. And they're funny as anything."

"Not to me."

"Well, fine, I won't tell them anymore. To you, that is." She grabbed the fedora from her head. "Here's your hat, by the way."

He stared at her as he put it on. "Thank you for not hexing it."

Valkyrie furrowed her brow in confusion. Behind her, Tanith laughed. She looked at Ghastly. She looked at the luggage.

"Haven't you got _my_ bag yet?" the blonde cried, rushing to the belt. A black duffel with intricate brown designs circled in front and she snatched it. "Honestly, the both of you. _Useless_."

Ghastly gave a snort. Skulduggery scowled.

"I'm hungry," said Valkyrie.

* * *

**AN- So there was that. Just a little hint of actual Valduggery. Also, that conversation thing with Ghastly and Skulduggery. I hope I'm not developing the Ghanith too fast? And, by the way, I've only been to Montreal once, and that was when I was little. So if anyone has any pointers about that city, I'd welcome them. ****(I did my best with the French) **

**_Quelqu'un doit se réveiller_ - Someone needs to wake up. ****_Et ce n'est pas moi_ - And it's not me. _Quelqu'un doit se taire _- Someone needs to shut up. _Ou Ou je vais le laisser geler - _Or I'll leave him out to freeze.**


	10. Poutine

_"I'm hungry," said Valkyrie._

* * *

"It _is_ 11:00 in Dublin," Tanith admitted. "Jet leg will be awful for a while. Are we all good for poutine?"

"I have no clue what that is," said Valkyrie, "And I'm pretty sure I'll hate it."

"Pessimist," said Tanith, sticking her tongue out, "It's delicious."

"Sounds good to me," said Skulduggery, "As long as we can order takeout."

"You don't even _eat_!" Valkyrie protested.

"I'm well aware of that, thanks."

"I'm sure there's some rule about ordering takeout poutine," Tanith quipped, "But we should probably hail a taxi if we're interested in getting anywhere quickly."

"Nonsense," Skulduggery told her, "I won't stand for it. We'll rent a car. I'm not going to rely on mortals every time I want to go someplace. We have lots of travelling to do."

"Okay," Tanith amended, "We'll rent. That works, yeah? Anything else we've missed?"

"I think a hotel is in order?" Ghastly pointed out, already starting for the door. He wasn't one to stand around.

"Oh," said Tanith, "Right."

"Excellent," said Skulduggery, following Ghastly, "If that's all settled then?"

"I'm still hungry," Valkyrie reminded them. She whirled on Tanith. "And I'm blaming _you_ if this poutine thing turns out to be a load of –"

"Just one thing," Ghastly interrupted, "Does anyone know where the car rental place is?"

They were almost at the doors. Already Valkyrie could feel the frigid drafts from outside. At the tailor's inquiry, there were blank stares all around.

Finally, Skulduggery spoke up. "I haven't the foggiest," he told them, "but left's a good a direction as any!"

He pointed to the route he intended to take. No one responded.

"Are you sure that's right?" asked Valkyrie.

Skulduggery readjusted his collar. "Hm, no. But you're on to something there. Let's go _right_!"

"Hang on," said Tanith, bent over her mobile, "I'm checking maps."

The skeleton sniffed, affronted. "Well, _that_ was undeniably clever."

"It _was_," agreed Valkyrie.

The woman snorted. "I told you; there's never any harm in using mortal technology when you need it!"

"Unless it's transportation," Valkyrie whispered, giving a smirk towards Skulduggery. He smiled.

"Only airplanes and taxies," he told her.

She shook her head. "And Toyotas and Canary cars."

The smile morphed into a grin. "And all _modern_ vehicles, really."

Valkyrie laughed. Ghastly's eyebrows were raised. He looked at Skulduggery.

"I've got it!" cried Tanith proudly, "Skul, you were right the first time. We take a left, and then continue on straight until… oh, bloody hell, that's far."

"It's what?" Valkyrie asked, not liking what she was hearing.

"It's further than I thought it would be."

She tilted her head up at the ceiling. "_Great_. It's my life goal to die in minus 30 degree weather while walking to get a car."

"You need to get better life goals," Ghastly told her.

"I need to _eat_," she corrected.

Skulduggery sighed. "It's a wonder we get anything done at all, what with all these distractions."

"Oh, come on," Valkyrie teased, "We're worth it."

"Well, _them_ maybe, but I'm not so sure about _you_."

"Pardon _me_, then! Why don't you just take _Tanith_ as a partner?"

Skulduggery looked horrified. "Because she's with _Ghastly_! And besides, she talks too much. We'd be at each others' throats within minutes."

"I'd be at yours in a second!" Tanith called from outside. She tapped her foot in impatience. "You know, for people who want to get someplace so badly, you're awfully slow."

"Your fault," Valkyrie and Skulduggery said in sync. They frowned at each other, walked out to meet up with the others.

The entranceway shut behind her, leaving Valkyrie exposed to the cold. The wind whipped through her hair, slapping the strands across her face. It was also snowing. This was not considered to be a perk.

"Oh. My. Gods," she said, hunching her shoulders up and wrapping her arms around herself. "I have never been more cold in my _life_!"

Skulduggery's brows knitted together, he walked over to her. "It _is_ rather cold, isn't it? One of the better times to be a skeleton."

"Shut up," she said, her teeth starting to chatter. "I am _not_ walking all the way to the rental place like _this_."

"Hold up," Tanith said, an idea dawning on her, "Does anyone have an extra coat? I'm wearing mine."

"Surprisingly, no," replied Ghastly. He seemed oddly perturbed by that fact.

Valkyrie glanced at Skulduggery. He was crouched on the ground, already undoing the buckles of his suitcase. He withdrew a neatly folded trench coat, unravelling it with a flourish. It was longer in length than Valkyrie was.

"It'll have to do," he told her, "Just don't let it drag on the ground."

"I'll do my best," she said, putting it on. She hitched the fabric up so it bunched round her waist, tied the belt tightly. Tanith snickered.

"Oh, come off it," Valkyrie admonished, "Not everyone has a tailor for a boyfriend!"

"And we can't _all_ be as fashionable as _me_," Skulduggery added. "That would be _horrendous_. Simply aggravating."

"Ahem," Ghastly coughed in to his sleeve. "If anyone's coming…?"

They came.

* * *

They'd selected the least offensive car, a white Volkswagen Beetle. Valkyrie had objected at first – 'A _Beetle_, _really_?' – but had come to terms with the decision since. Mostly because it was warm inside. Once Skulduggery cranked the heat up to full blast, that is. He'd insisted on driving this time, which meant that Valkyrie got to sit next to him. She was infinitely pleased at this.

"Just so you know," started Valkyrie, climbing into the passenger seat. She was _freezing_, literally, her hair was all white and her lashes were caked in snow. "Once we get home, I am _never_ coming back here again."

"But the cold does _wonders_ for your skin," Tanith said.

Valkyrie scowled, looked around at the interior of the car. "Wait," she said, "I'm on the wrong side! Shouldn't the steering wheel be on the _right_?"

"Yes, I was wondering when you'd notice," Skulduggery said from next to her. "Welcome to Canada!"

"Right. They've got their roads all wonky." She twisted round so she was looking at the couple in the back. "Tanith? Would you mind using some of that mortal technology to find us the nearest poutine place?"

Tanith held up her mobile, waved it in the air with a grin. "Already on it!"

"I thought it was the teenagers that were supposed to be obsessed with phones," Skulduggery frowned, navigating his way out of the lot. He seemed to be fairly well adjusted to the setup, strange as it was.

"Or children," Valkyrie said.

Tanith ignored them. Really, she wasn't _that_ bad. "Take a right here," she told them. "No! Wait, next exit! Next exit! That's it, now right! _Right_!"

"I just _turned_ right," Skulduggery growled, "Now if you would stop being a backseat driver?"

"Fine, _someone's_ cranky. Just keep driving for, erm, three blocks. Left, straight for five, right, straight for seven, and we're there."

Skulduggery obeyed these instructions without further comment. Valkyrie rested her head against the window, taking in the new sights. Canada was different than Ireland, much more spread out. Everything she saw was in French. Valkyrie couldn't make out a word of it. The streetlights burned into her vision and she cringed, shutting her eyes. It would be ever so nice if she could just sleep right now, just stop thinking and….

"Valkyrie?" Tanith was asking. There was something poking her arm. A finger. "You okay?"

She blinked herself into a bleary reality. "Mm? Oh, yeah. I'm good."

"Can't go to sleep yet. Not until we're at the hotel and had some dinner. We're parked at the restaurant. What do you want?"

"Um, poutine, was it?" She checked her memory. "Yeah, that's it."

Tanith laughed. "What _kind_, silly!"

There were _kinds_ of poutine? When had this happened? Why hadn't she known this earlier?

"Normal kind?"

Tanith groaned. "_Bor_ing! But alright, whatever you say. Ghastly and I are sharing a hot sauce and jalapeño pepper one."

"Sorry, isn't poutine, like, _chips_?"

"_Oui_!" Tanith giggled, "Mais, ce sont des frites _spéciales_!"

"Not _you_ too! Am I the only one here who _doesn't_ speak French?"

"Il semblerait! Tu devrais probablement avoir étudié plus!"

Valkyrie pouted. "Skulduggery, I can't understand her! Make her stop!"

The skeleton cast the blonde a disapproving glare. "Tanith, are you picking on my Valkyrie?"

"As _if_! I _love_ my little sister! I was just telling her that she should have _studied_ more! Then she'd have gotten what I was saying!"

"For the _last_ _time_," Valkyrie shouted, "It was my _reflection_!"

"Alright, let's let up on her," Ghastly advised everyone. "Valkyrie's done plenty of things in her life that are more important than being fluent in French."

"_Thank_ you, Ghastly."

"You _are_ also younger than any of us," Tanith admitted, "Your aging process hasn't even started to slow yet!"

For reasons unknown to man, Skulduggery remained silent. Tanith bid them a short farewell as she went out to place their orders. Valkyrie took a deep breath, letting out the tension she'd been feeling.

"It's been a long day," she said.

"It has," Ghastly agreed.

Skulduggery, with his façade, let his eyes fall shut. Valkyrie glanced at him, her worry forming lines on her face.

"Are you alright?" She asked. "You seem a bit out of sorts."

"It gets uncomfortable if I wear the façade for a prolonged period of time. I've been wearing this one practically all day," he explained without moving. "Don't mind me."

Valkyrie gave a small smile. "Why don't you let Tanith or Ghastly drive? That way you can sit in the back and relax."

He chuckled. "That'd be the day. When _Tanith_ is in control of a vehicle."

"She does pretty well with a motorbike." Valkyrie allowed, shrugged, "And Ghastly could drive instead."

The man under discussion said nothing.

"But then I'd have to sit with _Tanith_. And she's in one of her moods. She'd just _pester_ me the entire time."

"Idiot," Valkyrie laughed, "_I_ could sit with you. Honestly, it's not that big of an issue."

He grinned at her. "You know, I'm really starting to _like_ you."

She rolled her eyes. "Come on then, move."

He did so, left the door open. Valkyrie did the same, slid in beside the tailor. "Ghastly," she said, "get out."

Ghastly gave her a look, before sighing and exiting the car. He settled in to the driver's seat. "Oh no, no trouble at all. I don't mind a smidgen."

"Don't worry," Valkyrie told him, a smirk upon her lips, "I'm sure Tanith can make it up to you."

He raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. Skulduggery slipped into the car. He touched his fingers to his collarbone and the façade disappeared, revealing the white of his skull.

"Better?" Valkyrie asked.

"Much."

"Now tell me I'm a genius."

"And _why_ would I do that?"

She tossed him a grin. "Because I _am_ one."

"Are you? I would think that's debatable."

Valkyrie's focus caught on the woman returning from the restaurant, two large baskets of chips balanced in her grip. Tanith threw her a puzzled look as she paused on her way, got in to her newly reassigned spot.

"Tanith," Valkyrie said, "Do you think I'm a genius?"

"Do you think I'm a _halfwit_? I'm not answering that question."

"Humph," Valkyrie slouched in to the leather seat, arms crossed.

Skulduggery laughed. "If I'm to call you a genius, you need to do something to deserve it. Something extraordinary, that would stun even the likes of _me_."

"But I _have_ done something extraordinary," she insisted, "I've done something extraordinary just by being myself. I am a _most_ extraordinary individual!"

"And _this_ is a prime example of why Valkyrie's the first partner you've had in ages," Ghastly said, pulled out into the street. "They all turn out just as egotistical as their instructor. Puts people off."

"_I'm_ not egotistical," Valkyrie cried, "I'm simply aware of my true self worth. Which just so happens to be of more value than most people's."

Tanith took note of Skulduggery. He appeared far more at ease now that he was wearing his own face again. She knew how large the consequences were when wearing an identity that wasn't one's own. They all did, if she thought about it. Ghastly had to fight his scars everyday, and not just the ones on his face. Tanith tried to forget what it had been like to have her soul suppressed by an external force. Valkyrie was Darquesse, that in itself said more than was necessary. To always have a force of such pure evil in the back of her head, Tanith couldn't imagine the struggle.

And then there was Skulduggery. He probably knew concealment better than the rest of him, if his past was anything to judge by. Tanith wasn't going to elaborate; everyone knew the story, but the account of his wife and child's deaths jerked at her heart whenever she thought of it.

"And I suppose you're not going to take _responsibility_ for this, _are_ you?" Tanith asked him, bringing her thoughts back to the subject of pride.

His head tilted. "What? Me? Take responsibility for _Valkyrie's_ pride? Of course not. In fact, I rather _encourage_ it!"

"_You_ would."

Skulduggery dipped his head in assent. "Just so long as she doesn't do anything stupid because of it. Or turn out like Fletcher. Even _my_ hairstyle is better than that abomination." He shuddered.

Valkyrie nodded absently. "Puff levels are high today," she muttered.

Tanith frowned. "Sorry?"

"Nothing. Is that what poutine looks like?" She gestured to the bucket of chips, her expression changing to one of disgust. "Is that… _gravy_?"

"Yep!" Tanith affirmed.

"And…" Valkyrie struggled to make sense of the foreign food. "What's all that whitish stuff?"

"That would be the cheese curds," Skulduggery said. "Traditional Québécois dish."

"That's _revolting_!"

"Pretty delicious, actually," Skulduggery told her.

"How would _you_ know?"

"I have it on good word."

"Mhm. I'm _sure_."

"Just try it," Tanith pleaded, "Once we get to the hotel. I _promise_ you'll love it."

"Promise?"

Ghastly interrupted before his lover could reply. "Er, don't mean to be rude or anything, but _where_ precisely _are_ we going? Does anyone know a hotel near here? Because I don't want to keep driving aimlessly. We'll end up on the other end of the city."

"I'll give this one to Valkyrie," Tanith said, passing her phone to the girl behind her. "She needs to get affiliated with this stuff."

Valkyrie scowled. "It was _one_ _time_ that I forgot to look something up," she said, "One _bloody_ time."

"Just find us a place to stay."

It wasn't service with a smile, but she did just that.

* * *

Once they reached the hotel – Best Western, not too far from the Pierre Elliott Trudeau airport – they were quick to get into their rooms. Skulduggery reactivated his façade before they reached the lobby; a ginger haired man with freckles and disturbingly curly hair, booked them two conjoining rooms.

They congregated in Ghastly and Tanith's bedroom to eat their meal. It was now way past midnight in Dublin, and all parties, with the sole exception of Skulduggery, were feeling the lag. Conversation was severely lacking, with everyone uncertain as to what to do.

"I don't understand why Ravel wouldn't have sent us more information by now," Tanith was saying. "It's terribly frustrating."

"He's got a lot on his plate," Ghastly reminded her, "what with Darquesse and all. Trust me, I've had my fair share of it myself."

"He probably assumes that I've researched our target by now," Skulduggery said, his skull illuminated by the yellow light of the lamps. "Which I have."

"Mm," said Tanith. "Does he know about our plane ride?"

"I can't imagine he wouldn't. Crossing an ocean takes quite a bit of time."

Ghastly shook his head, gave a chortle. "The man likely thinks we've been delayed. Killed or something. We'd better send him a message."

"Just as confirmation of our non-deadness," Tanith said, smiling.

"I believe the word is '_alive_'," Skulduggery corrected.

"Shut it, you. I'm tired."

"Aren't we all," groaned Ghastly.

"Val, send him a text, would you?" Tanith asked with a yawn. "You've still got my phone?"

Valkyrie took out the woman's mobile, her fingers dancing across the keys. "There," she said, holding up the phone. The text displayed clearly: _I'm not dead_. "Let's have dinner."

"I am _infatuated_ with that plan," Tanith said, "You have no _idea_."

She set about distributing the poutine.

Ghastly, as it turned out, fell in love with the dish at first bite.

"I swear," Tanith jested, "that meal is going to replace me."

Valkyrie, on the other hand, was not the biggest fan.

"_Ick_!" She exclaimed, spitting out the chip. "How can you two _stand_ this?"

"How can you _not_?" Tanith countered, her voice ecstatic.

Valkyrie got herself one of the apples from the complimentary fruit basket. Skulduggery didn't eat anything.

* * *

**AN- Well, this was a longer one. Sorry for not updating sooner. Some Sherlock and Vlogbrothers references here, done not so subtly. Hope you all enjoy. Thanks to all the people who have reviewed, favourited, and/or followed this story. It means a lot to me and brings a smile to my day. Oh, and please p****ardon my French.**

_**Oui! Mais, ce sont des frites spéciales -**_** Yes, but these are special fries! (or chips, depending on where you're from.) ****_Il semblerait -_ It looks like it! _Tu devrais probablement avoir étudié plus - _You probably should have studied more.**


	11. Nightmares

Valkyrie never finished her apple. She decided partway through her meal that she had never been _less_ hungry in her entire life, had tossed what was left in the garbage. There was no compost in the hotel room.

Tanith gave a loud yawn, stretching her arms in the air, brought them round Ghastly's neck. "Well, _I'm_ completely knackered."

Valkyrie mumbled her agreement.

"So the plan is that Tanith and I share a room, and you and Valkyrie get the other one?" Ghastly confirmed, looking at Skulduggery.

The skeleton was standing apart from them, staring out the window at the rapidly darkening sky. Below them, cars raced every which way. It was a plethora of red, green, and yellow.

"I don't see any _other_ possible arrangement. I'm certainly not sleeping in the same room as either of _you_."

"Oi!" said Tanith sharply, but the edge was lost with her exhaustion.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Skulduggery told her, "I won't be joining you for a while."

Valkyrie spun to face him. "Why not?!"

"I have things I need to do."

"What _kinds_ of things?"

"Things that don't include you. Any of you."

"_Fine_," she said, scowled. "_Be_ mysterious. _I_ thought you'd have been _grateful_ to leave your façade off for a bit."

Ghastly appeared concerned. "Is this a late night stroll? Or something dangerous?"

"Can't it be both?" Valkyrie asked, "I've gotten in to _loads_ of trouble just minding my own business."

"Thank you, but I'm quite sure I can manage."

"You _say_ that, but then you get _captured_." Valkyrie declared.

"I promise I won't."

"I'll hold you to that."

"I expect you to."

"Good. Just so we're clear."

"We're clear."

She ran up to him, gave him a hug. "I've kind of forgotten about your coat," she whispered, "I left it in the car."

"Are you saying I'll have to retrieve it because you're too lazy?"

Valkyrie giggled. "Might be."

"Right then. I'll do that," he started for the door. "Bonne nuit, tout le monde!"

Valkyrie threw one of the poutine forks at him. "I said no more _French_!"

But he was already gone. The fork hit the door and fell with a clatter. Valkyrie sat on the floor with an exasperated sigh. "I need to sleep," she announced, went to the entrance to her room.

"_Sure_ you don't want your _suitcase_?" Tanith asked, getting up to hand it to her.

Valkyrie took it with a grimace, shut the door behind her.

* * *

Valkyrie lay in bed that night, wearing her red satin pyjamas, with her head resting on the most comfortable pillow she'd ever had the pleasure of using. It was peaceful, there were no bad guys trying to kill her… yet. _And_ she was in a new country. _And_, one of her best friends was _not_ evil and was _pregnant_! Everything was going swell.

But it wasn't. She couldn't sleep.

Valkyrie didn't _know_ why. She was _exhausted_. The curtains covering the full-length windows looked like hooded figures, sinister and grey. Had this room always been so small? Why was it that she could still hear the sounds of cars? Shouldn't there be a law against that?

There was a siren in the distance. Valkyrie wondered what it was for.

It was late, unbearably so. Or was it _early_? She just couldn't _tell_; conscious thought had long since fled. All Valkyrie knew was that she wasn't alone anymore because there was someone else in the room, and they were by the curtains and they were dressed in black. Her headache had returned.

The figured flickered, like something out of a bad horror film. One moment it was next to the window, and then it was on top of her, strangling her. Valkyrie tried to yell but she couldn't get any oxygen in to her lungs, couldn't physically manage it.

Her attacker's image gave a wobble. It was back to the window. It gave a smile, only one side of her lips twitching upward. Darquesse.

_Just let me out._ _It'd be the easiest thing in the world. Quicker than falling asleep_.

'Go away,' Valkyrie shouted in her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut, counted to ten.

Or tried to, anyway. A scream pierced her ears, she jolted upright, saw who'd made the noise.

Her head was being torn apart. She was burning, burning…

_The whole world was on fire. Tanith and Ghastly and Alice and her parents_.

_Skulduggery stood facing her in the hotel room. The curtains were open. They could see the flames lick at the glass._

_Some of his bones were broken, twisted at odd angles. He looked defeated_.

"_This is what happens when you're too weak to fight her off," He told her, motioning toward the carnage._

"I'm _sorry_," Valkyrie sobbed from the bed, "I didn't _want_ this to happen!"

_He ran up to her, leaned over. His hands gripped her shoulders, digging in painfully._ "_Valkyrie,_" _he said_, "_Valkyrie, Valkyrie_."

_She looked down at his bare ribcage. It seemed so delicate, so exposed. She reached out to touch it._ _Just the slightest contact was made_.

_The instant she did so, his bones began to turn to dust. White, powdery, reflecting orange off the fire that was building higher and higher and higher._

_Skulduggery gazed at her with horror written in to those dark sockets. "This is what you_ do," _he whispered. "Destroyer."_

"No," she cried, her voice cracking, "No!"

_He watched her as his skull faded away. "Valkyrie, Valkyrie…."_

"Valkyrie!"

She sat up suddenly, shaking the bed with the sudden movement, gasped for air. She whipped her head round, searching for the next vision. What she got instead was a snowy skeleton, kneeling on the floor by the side table.

Valkyrie took a peek at the clock.

"Was I dreaming?" she asked him, unable to believe the amount that her voice was trembling. She felt cold. She'd kicked the quilt off.

"I would hope so," he replied, just as softly. He brought a hand up to her cheek, wiped away a tear there. "I hope I never have to hear you scream like that about something real."

Valkyrie winced. "Was I really that loud?" Her thoughts turned to those of dread. "Do you think I woke anyone up?"

"Yes," he said, "But that's not the point. Are you okay?"

She chewed her lip. "Just a nightmare, nothing I haven't dealt with before."

He nodded, pensive. "You shouldn't have to deal with them."

"Where did you go?" she said, an abrupt change of subject. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about her dreams.

He tilted his head, stood, walked over to where the blankets were lying in a tangled heap. "Oh, you know me. Here, there, where _didn't_ I go?"

She gave a smile, the lids of her eyes weighing heavily down. "And how does a skeleton like _you_ walk around in a city unnoticed, I wonder?"

"_Please_, Valkyrie. I mustn't give away all my tricks."

"No, but _seriously_."

He gave a shrug, taking one of the sheets into his arms and spreading it apart.

"Scarves," said Skulduggery. "The secret is the scarves. You never actually see anyone's face when it's this cold out. Throw on a scarf or two and you're set to go."

Valkrie twisted on to her back so she could see him. He draped the sheet over her, tucking it in. Next came the quilt. Skulduggery went round to pull it over her entire body, with the exclusion of her face.

She tugged the fabric so that it formed a bundle, a loose cocoon. "Thank you," she said.

"Always. Do you need anything else? You don't have to worry about getting up tomorrow; I'm giving you all a day off to adjust."

Valkyrie hesitated before asking. "Sing to me?"

Skulduggery chuckled, distinctly at ease. "Better shove over, then. Can't do a song properly from the couch."

"'Right." She moved so that he had enough space. Skulduggery settled on the bed, looped an arm behind her neck. She nestled in to him, head propped up by his chest.

And he began to sing. It was a song that she didn't know the title of, though she'd caught him humming it before. Probably one of the old songs that he liked.

"Summertime, and the living is easy. Fish are jumping and the cotton is high. Your daddy's rich, and your mamma's good looking. So hush, little baby, don't you cry…."

Valkyrie felt her eyelids droop, she yawned. She fell asleep, and this time there were no dreams.

* * *

**AN- Well, wasn't _that_ just pure Valduggery fluff. I'm sorry about the number of clichés in this chapter. I really didn't expect it to be like this. Just review and let me know if I did an okay job, yeah? Right, you're all awesome. First time doing a dream scene, so please let me know how I did on that as well.**

**_Bonne nuit, tout le monde -_ Goodnight, everyone.  
**

**Song: 'Summertime' by George Gershwin **


	12. Pressure

Skulduggery made his way through the night, a thick red scarf enveloping most of his face. He had on his hat, as well as his tan overcoat that he'd retrieved from the Volkswagen. Nobody bothered him.

At this hour and temperature, there weren't very many pedestrians. In this part of town, the majority of people who _were_ out would be like him: up to no good.

Perhaps that description wasn't a fair representation of his goals. It wasn't like he intended on _killing_ anyone. In fact, he wasn't even going to use _violence_. Just cash in a favour that he didn't deserve to have in the first place.

He would have been more comfortable with the killing.

Skulduggery continued down the street, flipping the collar of his coat up so that it hid more of his face. The wind howled as it whipped through his skull, reverberating around in his head. It was distracting, and certainly unpleasant. He ignored it. He was almost there.

Not three blocks later, Skulduggery found himself cracking open the backdoor of the l'Irisée nightclub, heading inside. It was a dismal excuse for a building, the original brick all but eroded away. The music was even worse. 90s pop songs blared from cheap wall speakers. Skulduggery adjusted his scarf so that it muffled the din.

He strode up to the bar, not granting the three partygoers so much as a passing glance. The barman had draped himself over the counter, a dulled glaze in his eyes. However, he snapped to attention the instant Skulduggery seated himself on one of the stools, a wild expression coming over him. He swore under his breath.

"Hello," said Skulduggery, "Been a while, hasn't it?"

* * *

"It's _you_, then? _Really_ you?" the man asked in flawless English for the fifth time, his composure regained. He had an odd combination of features, a rather babyish face and a chiselled body. Fair hair was swept to one side, the left side shaved in elaborate patterning. It was disconcerting to the eye. "What's it been… 100, 150-"

"203 years. War of 1812. " Skulduggery answered.

The man peered at him. "Blimey, has it been _that_ long already? Seems like _yesterday_ you came around here agreeing to help my –"

"Indeed," said the skeleton. "And I assume you know why I'm here?"

He nodded. "Always knew weren't one to forget old contracts. Is this about that Darquesse figure?"

Skulduggery shook his head. "We've been having a little, well, shall we say '_trouble',_ with a certain Sensitive. Canadian citizen, female? Specializes in long-range invasions? Know anything?"

"I'll assume you're talking about _mind_ invasions, because anything else doesn't make sense."

"Daemon, _don't_ play the idiot. It's never worked, and it won't this time. _Where_ is Revenant?"

The man named Daemon shrugged. "Hell if _I_ know. My main buddy's just ditched me! Says he won't be doing business anymore! _I_ can't keep track of all these people on my _own_, now can I? I mean, I can help you _look_. But let me _tell_ you, is it ever good to _see_ you again! Heard about all your adventures with… what's her name again? Something to do with Vikings…."

"Valkyrie," Skulduggery told him, "And could we stay on topic, please? I have a very lovely hotel room waiting for me."

"Right. Is _Valkyrie_ there with you?"

"No wonder your friend walked out on you."

"_Hey_!"

The detective paid him no mind, drummed his fingers against the table. "Dexter is missing."

Daemon sobered immediately. "Damn," he said, "I liked him. Always up for some good fun."

"Which is why we need your help."

"Of course!" he brightened, "Sure, _anything_!"

"Ask around a bit for Revenant. We'll come in and see you in two days time. Don't tell anyone it was me who set this up."

And before Daemon had a chance to respond, Skulduggery spun round, sauntered out. The meeting had done nothing to ease his mind. What he _truly_ needed to know was how the Sensitive could have managed to find exploit the fears in one with as impressive mental shields as _his_.

* * *

It was late in the morning when Valkyrie awoke. This was to a pillow being thrown in her face.

"Wake _up_!" shouted Tanith with a grin, "_Lazy_ bones!"

Valkyrie buried herself deeper in to covers. A pillow was thrown again, then struck repeatedly on her back.

"_Not_ getting up!" she protested.

There was the sound of curtains being yanked apart. Light flooded in.

"Do the world a favour and show your beautiful _self_!" Tanith giggled, peeling the blankets away from her.

"But what if I'm _too_ beautiful for the world?" Valkyrie groaned as she was tugged upright, shielded her eyes with a hand. "What _then_?"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself. I said you were _beautiful_, not deadly _stunning_!"

"Well, I'm not _China_!"

"You're not _me_, either! You know the risks I have to put up with whenever I decide to _grace_ the average person with my presence? It's _criminal_!"

Valkyrie stretched her arms out, yawning. She dragged herself out of bed, somehow able to stand. "Now you're just _mocking_ me!"

"And you love it. Get dressed. They have free breakfast downstairs and then I'm taking you _shopping_!"

"_No,_ you are _not_!" Valkryrie screeched. "I _refuse_ to be dragged along on one of your silly requests! Now, where's Skulduggery?"

Tanith rolled her eyes. "At _least_ get dressed for some toast and _cereals_! We'll discuss the second part after. And Skulduggery and Ghastly are in my bedroom, talking about the mission. Always on task, they are."

"Like _you_ weren't in there _with_ them until someone thought to check on _me_!" Valkyrie scoffed.

Tanith looked away. "_Well_…"

"Face it, you've been away from these cases for too long."

Tanith straightened herself with dignity. "I will say nothing to either confirm or disprove that statement."

Valkyrie pulled on some jeans with a grin.

Breakfast wasn't too bad, considering. Greasy toast and jam were classic staples, and they reminded Valkyrie of home. She never had gotten the hang of the toaster, as dim-witted as that might seem, and was always putting the bread in for twice the time it needed. Then she compensated for the burnt taste with _heaps_ of jam and butter. This was like that, except everything was evenly cooked. Not a hint of blackened crust in sight.

While she ate, Valkyrie made a point of dictating as much of the six months as she could. Tanith was an attentive listener, when it came down to it, with only minimal interruptions when she needed to confirm the circumstances of an event.

Valkyrie didn't like that gleam in her eye whenever she mentioned Skulduggery, though. It was full of mischief and roguish promises.

"_What_?!" she finally asked, when Tanith had been staring at her with the same smirk for six minutes straight. "_What_ am I doing? Do I have something on my chin?"

Tanith's smile turned patronising. "Oh, Val," she said, "You just have no _clue_, do you?"

She frowned. "No clue about _what_?"

"You should just _tell_ him how you feel. Then things would be a lot _easier_."

Valkyrie dropped her toast. She was beginning to see where this was going. She wished she didn't. "Tell _who_ how I _feel_ about _what_."

Tanith pouted. "_Please_? He's not _here_ right now! You can say it to _me_!"

"_Tanith_!" she exclaimed, "Shut _up_!"

"Just _say_ it! It'll make you feel better, I _swear_!"

"_I'm_ not saying _anything_!" her voice was raised.

"_Whisper_ it, then? To me?"

"Hotel _lobby_," another tenant yelled. An American. "Take it back to your rooms!"

Valkyrie sunk into her chair, a deep blush forming. Tanith just giggled. "Oops. Let's go. We'll see if Skul and Ghastly have found anything useful."

Valkyrie followed her out, keeping her head ducked. What she wouldn't give to have Cloaking Sphere on her.

* * *

Walking down the hallway to the hotel room, Valkyrie _still_ wasn't rid of her embarrassment. Tanith couldn't stop laughing.

"Why won't you be _upfront_ about it?" asked the blonde, pulling the key card from her pocket.

"Because he's my _friend_!" Valkyrie hissed.

They reached their destination. Tanith swiped the card, the light on the lock blinked green. She pushed open the door. "That's no reason _not_ to! _Ghastly_ and I are friends."

"Would you _shut up_!" Valkyrie bit out as quietly as she could. "We are _not_ talking about this!"

"Talking about _what_?" Ghastly said. He and Skulduggery were standing near the mini-kitchen.

"Oh," said Tanith, "Remember what you were saying last night?"

The man erupted into hysterics. "_Tanith_, during _breakfast_? _Really_?"

"I take it _all_ back! I hate every single _one_ of you!" Valkyrie glared back and forth between the two of them. She stamped her foot.

"That's not fair," said Skulduggery, "I haven't even _done_ anything yet."

"You're guilty by _default_," Tanith assured him.

"I don't see how that's possible. I am the _epitome_ of amazing. I should not be blamed for something when I don't even know what's going _on_!"

"Oh, you'll know it soon enough."

"No, he _won't_!" Valkyrie's eyes widened in panic, she ran forward to Tanith, "I swear to any and _all_ Gods out there that if you say _anything_ more, I _will_ break your sword."

Tanith rounded on her, curls whipping across her face. "Don't you _touch_ my sword!"

"Then _seriously_, Tanith!" Valkyrie bit her lip to keep from sobbing. It was getting to be a habit, all this lip biting and tears. Or maybe it was 'that time of the month' causing her hormones to be out of sorts. She decided she liked the idea of the latter more so than the first.

The other girl seemed to sense that she'd gone a bit too far in her attempts. Her face fell immediately into one of regret. "Val, I'm _sorry_!"

But Valkyrie was already running for the door.

"Girl stuff?" said Ghastly.

Skulduggery nodded, looked for a second like he was about to go after her, took a couple rushed steps forward. He stopped, collected himself by shifting his tie. "Best give her some space."

"I feel so _awful_," Tanith said, "I really didn't mean for her to react like that. But, honestly. I _was_ in the right."

"She's got a lot to deal with right now," Skulduggery told her, "We just need to understand that. I'll talk to her later, sort things out. She'll be pleased to hear about our new tour guide, though."

"Who," asked Ghastly, "Charles _Daemon_?"

"Daemon _who_?" Tanith frowned, "I'm missing something here, obviously."

Skulduggery sighed. "Someone I know from a while back. He can help us find Revenant."

"Thought you said you didn't _need_ help," Tanith teased.

"I cannot recall a single incidence in which I have said that."

"Believe me," said Ghastly, "_I_ can."

"Why is everyone conspiring against me lately?"

"_I'd_ blame it on the French," Tanith said, "Always increases the tension. High drama."

Ghastly fixed her with a sceptical glance. "That doesn't have _any_ basis in reality."

"I'm _pregnant_," she retorted, "I don't always have to be _logical_."

"Well, you _should _be!"

Skulduggery regarded their dispute with as much amusement as a cat watching a kitten chase their own tail. So, in other words, with none whatsoever.

"If you'll excuse me," he announced, backing out from the discussion, "I'll be off to see how Valkyrie is."

The second he left the room, Tanith and Ghastly both paused in their argument, glanced at the door.

"Typical," said Ghastly.

"Absolutely typical," said Tanith. "And I was going to take her _shopping_."

* * *

**AN- I'm sorry for taking so long to write this. I still don't like this chapter, but maybe you guys will. Please forgive the OC. It was unavoidable. On another topic, my school starts up again tomorrow, and there'll be exams soon, so my updating will be a bit more sporadic. Even now I'm putting off unfinished homework to update. Don't I just love you all so much? (reviewers get imaginary cookies. But seriously. If you have a request for any scenes, let me know.) **


	13. Magic Solution

"Valkyrie?" Skulduggery said, approaching slowly. "Are you alright?"

She was sitting by the window, her finger tracing apparently random letters on the glass. Her dark hair concealed her features. She didn't glance up.

"Don't say that," she said.

"Don't ask you if you're alright?"

"You've been doing it too often. It's good, I guess, but it's not. Not good that it needs to be _asked_, but, er… good that you care."

He angled his head. "Exactly how many hours of sleep did you get?"

She smiled at that, and gifted him by looking straight into his eyes. "I got enough, thanks to…."

Skulduggery could fill the sentence in on his own. He felt a warm feeling flood his chest cavity. "Well, it's the _least_ I could do for my partner."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. T-today, I mean. In there, I –" she stammered, hid herself beneath her tresses again.

Skulduggery chuckled, sat beside her. "Valkyrie Cain, if you start to have a _stutter_, so _help_ me."

"Sorry," she said, "I'm a bit out of it."

"I wish you would just tell me, whatever it is."

"Tanith is a jerk."

"She has jerkish tendencies, I'll admit."

"Understatement of the century."

"I'm assuming it has to do with something deeply embarrassing and Earth-shatteringly mortifying?"

She nodded reluctantly.

"And both Ghastly and Tanith know?"

"Apparently."

"It's not some weird dating thing, is it? Not like… oh. _Please_ don't tell me you've gotten back together with _Fletcher_! Because you know that I'll accept you no matter _what_ romantic interests you hold, but _honestly_, if you tell me you're keen on _him_, again, I will have _no_ choice but to intervene. After all-"

"Skulduggery," she said, and she took his hand. "I would _never_ like Fletcher again. Not like that. Him and I, it was just, well, _awkward_."

"Understatement of the _millennium_."

She glared. "But that does _not_ give you leave to insult my relationship skills. _Even_ if they're awful."

"They _are_ awful." He took that moment to study the ceiling. Nice, smooth paint. It was very interesting and had nothing at all to do with discussing ex-boyfriends.

Next to him, Valkyrie sighed. They stayed in quietude for a few moments longer, before Skulduggery clamoured to his feet, readjusted his hat.

"I have a magic solution to all your problems," he said.

"Oh," she asked, "and what's _that_?"

"_I_ have been _ever_ so brilliant as to find us someone who can help us!"

"That's great," she cried, "Do they know where Dexter is?"

"Er, _no_."

She frowned. "Can they show us where to find Revenant?"

"Not _exactly_." He watched her face as she raised one eyebrow. "But he's looking into that!"

"And, does this person have access to the technology needed to take her down?"

Skulduggery stuck his hands in his pockets. "Who says we _need_ technology to take on Revenant?"

"Well, _do_ we?"

"How would _I_ know? This is _Canada_! It's not like this place gets any media coverage! Nothing ever _happens_ here!"

Valkyrie stood suddenly. "Except for a fear Sensitive that we know absolutely damn _all_ about aside from that she has _escaped_ from the jail that imprisoned her for _torture_! For all we know, she could be massing an army of people she's _coerced_ into joining her because she can manipulate their _dreams_ until you're so afraid that they'll come _true_ and you'll end up _killing_ everyone that you _love_! But the thing is, you actually have _reason_ to be-"

Skulduggery crushed her to him, silencing her. "That future will never happen, remember? We'll work on your mental shields. You'll be able to hold her off. You will _not_ become Darquesse. And then, you and me and Ghastly and Tanith-the-jerk will find Revenant. And we will kill her. And then we can go home." He tilted his head. "And anyway, a coerced army? That's _codswallop_, if you ask me! From what I've heard, she prefers to work alone."

"Codswallop?"

"Not the point. Point _is_, we'll find her, kill her, go home."

Valkyrie took a deep breath in, attempting to calm herself. "Yep. That's what we'll do."

"You're stronger than her, Valkyrie. You're stronger than you think."

She smiled in to his suit. "I'm prettier than her too," she said.

Skulduggery gave a laugh. "That you are. And, by the way, I was lying about that being the magic solution."

"You were?"

"Of course! It is a truth _universally_ acknowledged, that a group of sorcerers on a mission in Canada, _must_ be in want of a skating trip."

Valkyrie groaned, pulled away. "You did not _seriously_ quote 'Pride and Prejudice' at me. Tell me you didn't."

He gave a tip of the hat. "You have _your_ references, I'll have _mine_."

She was grinning already, but gave an eye roll. "You're _impossible_, I hope you're aware."

"Oh, I am."

"But… _skating_," she said, "_really_?"

"When in Rome…."

"I sincerely doubt that _all_ Canadians know how to ice skate."

"It's registered as one of the official modes of transportation," he told her, "Mandatory to learn before 18."

"You're joking."

"No, really, I'm not!"

"And where did you pick up _that_ piece of information?"

"Er," he said, scratching his chin. "Might have heard it somewhere. From Saracen. When he was drunk."

"Right. And for some reason you think _we_ should ice skate? Here I was under the impression that it was _Tanith_ who was crazy. Who do you think I _am_?"

"A very graceful and badass sorcerer?"

She beamed, tried to rein in her grin. "Passable. But you'll have to do better than that."

He fidgeted, toying with the fingers of his gloves. "Um, _well_, you're pretty-"

"_Beautiful_."

"Yes, that. Pretty beautiful, talented, athletic, stubborn-"

"_Excuse_ me!"

"Rude, infuriating, insubordinate, daring, brave, clever, and may I say _amazing_?"

"That's better. Minus the middle part, of course. But acceptable! Very acceptable!"

"Excellent," he said, "we're leaving now. Should have time to get you some decent outerwear, grab some dinner while we're at it…."

"Hold up," Valkyrie said, "_shopping_? You're taking me _shopping_?"

"Technically, _Tanith_ is. I'll just be along for the ride."

"And what about _Ghastly_? Is he coming too?"

"Could hardly leave him to rot inside this place by _himself_, could we? I thought we'd _all_ go!"

Valkyrie shook her head. "I can't believe _you_, of all people, would want to go ice-skating."

"Neither can I, to be honest. Wasn't planning on it. Just sort of slipped out."

Idiotic skeleton. "So do the others know about this burst of spontaneity?"

"Not yet, but I'm certain they'll go along with it."

"Only because they'll be forced to."

"I never claimed otherwise," he held up his hands, "And you're not going to murder Tanith in a hotel room? Because aside from being rather cumbersome to clean up, it's also cliché."

"I _promise_ I'll wait until we're at the skating rink. Then I can pass it off as an accident."

"What, an 'oops, my skate slipped' sort of thing?"

She giggled. "Great minds think alike!"

"I'm not entirely certain that's accurate, but alright. We'll give it a shot."

They entered Tanith and Ghastly's room.

"Hello," said Tanith. "And sorry."

Valkyrie waved her off. "S'okay. I maybe overreacted. Skulduggery's decided we're going skating."

Tanith's eyes lit up, predictably excited. "Oo! That'll be fun! When do we leave?"

"Now," said Skulduggery. "Valkyrie needs to buy a coat, and some mittens."

"And a _hat_," she added.

He nodded. "And a hat."

"As lovely as this sounds," said Ghastly, "Are any of us actually capable of skating?"

"If you were paying attention yesterday, you would know this. I've skated before. Tanith did figure skating, I believe."

The woman put her hands on her hips. "That _doesn't_ get mentioned. _Ever_."

Valkyrie laughed. "_You_? A ballet dancer on _ice_? Our tough-as-nails Tanith?"

She glared. "_Ever._"

"_I_ don't skate," said Ghastly. "Never have, never will."

"Oh, don't be a grouch," Tanith told him, "_Valkyrie's_ doing it, and she'll be a _terror_! You think _she's_ done this before?"

"Erm," said Ghastly. "I'll go, but do I have to go on the ice?"

Tanith crossed her arms, stared at him with narrowed eyes. "Ghastly _Bespoke_, you are coming ice skating with me whether you like it or not. And that's final."

There were no arguments after that.

* * *

They were on the road in minutes. Skulduggery had opted to drive again, giving Valkyrie the luxury of the front seat. This time, there were no interruptions, and she got to enjoy approximately five minutes of fiddling with the heating system and radio before Tanith threatened to run her through with a sword. Skulduggery had laughed.

It was the same laugh that she'd grown to love hearing, but out of different lips. Today, his façade had dishevelled black hair and grey eyes that lay steady on the road.

"You're smiling," said Ghastly. And so he was.

"I have reason to," the skeleton retorted, "I can't _wait_ to see what excuse my Valkyrie will come up with when she murders Tanith on an ice rink!"

Valkyrie's heart gave a flutter. "_My_," she mouthed.

"I'd prefer it, actually," Tanith put in, "If _no one_ killed me during this trip. I kind of want to live to see what it means to be a mother, thanks."

"No sleep," Skulduggery told her, "Lots of crying and birthing pain and visits from annoying people."

If anyone else found it unusual for him to be divulging his past, they didn't comment on it. Valkyrie studied his expression and found it to be relatively untroubled.

"Joy," said Tanith, "remind me again why this was a good idea?"

The question was directed at Ghastly, but again it was Skulduggery who answered. "Because it's one of the most monumental things you can do with the person you love the most. And despite everything that happens afterward, it will _always_ be worth it."

Valkyrie looked at his face once more. This time, it was sad. She wondered how old _his_ child had been at the time of their death.

"Ah," said Ghastly, keeping his tone light, "that pretty much covers it."

"Did we just miss our next exit?" Tanith questioned.

* * *

They had not missed their next exit. Instead, they arrived at the Rockland shopping centre in a quarter of an hour, much to the amusement of Skulduggery, who had insisted that he was never wrong about directions.

It was an odd experience, to be sure. Valkyrie hadn't ever had the time to visit the mall, what with her adventures and extreme lack of interest in regular hobbies. Valkyrie had to admit, each time she saw someone her age passing by with their normally aged friends, she felt out of place.

The two men seemed to share her discomfort, with Ghastly almost in convulsions at the poor quality of sewing done at most of the chain stores. Skulduggery kept tugging at his collar nervously, as though someone would jump out and declare him for what he was.

Tanith was the only one who seemed unaffected by the whole experience. She bounced around like a bee in a meadow, pointing out the different shops they should visit.

One of them was a lingerie store.

"Not if it contained the panacea for every illness ever." Valkyrie said, and they continued shopping.

Another sold dresses. Valkyrie groaned, knowing she wouldn't be given any choice in this. "When will I ever _wear_ a dress?"

Tanith wasn't going to be dissuaded easily, taking a stance in front of the younger girl. "Every respectable woman should have one. It doesn't matter if they'll never wear it. I don't make a habit of dressing up either, remember!"

"And how am I, in any way, a respectable woman?"

Tanith paused. "Good point and…"

Valkyrie tried to dart around her. Tanith caught her by the arm, yanked her backwards.

"_Nice_ _try_! You're not getting out of this!"

"I really _will_ kill you with my skates."

"Just _one_?" Tanith pleaded, "Then we can go find you a coat."

Valkyrie sighed in an overly dramatic way. They bid farewell to the men, and agreed to meet each other in the food court.

"So we'll get the winter stuff _after_ the food?" Ghastly clarified.

"Yep," Tanith said brightly. She turned to her victim. "Ready?"

"As _if_," Valkyrie said, and allowed herself to be pulled into the shop.

* * *

**AN- I seem to have this thing for avoiding plot. Everything is planned out, but if you want it to progress faster then just review to tell me so. Another question: would you rather longer chapters with longer intervals between them, or ones like this that update on a (fairly) regular basis? Again, thank you to all who have favourited or followed this story. (and also my amazing reviewers, because it's people like you who keep me motivated)**


	14. Shopping

The inside of the store had a million curtains and fake crystal chandeliers. _Not_ Valkyrie's kind of place.

"Bonjour! Puis-je vous aider?" A cheery redhead greeted them as they stepped inside.

Tanith responded with a smile. "Belle journée, n'est-ce pas? En fait, oui, vous _pouvez_ m'aider avec quelque chose. Mon amie a besoin d'une robe. Mais, elle est un _peu_ têtue, donc…."

The shop lady's eyes widened. "Oh, vous êtes _britanniques!_ Seulement en visite?"

Tanith shrugged. "Moi, je suis britanniques. Elle… elle est Irlandaise. Et, je _suppose_ que vous pourriez dire que…."

"Er," said Valkyrie, " You lost me at 'Bonjour'."

The shop assistant gave a light laugh, teetering on heels so high that Valkyrie doubted even _China_ would be caught dead in them.

"English only?" she asked.

Valkyrie nodded.

"That is okay. Do you have a type of dress that you would prefer?"

"Um, _trousers_?"

"You maybe going to expand your horizons a bit, Val?" Tanith said, "The New Year's coming up; you might want something pretty so you can impress a certain someone…."

Valkyrie shot daggers back. "In _that_ case, then there's also _Christmas_ to worry about! What's the date… December 21st? It's cold enough here already!"

"Coldest year in decades," Tanith told her, "But fear not. The forecast says it's supposed to get up to minus 10 soon. We just happened to arrive in some flash freeze."

"Well, next time, can we _not_ come at the coldest week of the season?"

"Certainly!" said Tanith, "In fact, I'll never make you come here again if you'd just _try on one stupid dress_!"

"Fine," Valkyrie said gloomily, "But only because I have to."

"That's right," said Tanith, "Because you have to."

She motioned to the assistant, who was staring at them like she wasn't sure whether to call security or be amused. In fact, she might have been up to both.

"Yes?" said the assistant.

Valkyrie looked at the nametag pinned to her shirt. 'Emilie', it read.

"We were just wondering if there were any nice evening gowns here. Nothing too flashy."

Emilie led them to the back of the store. Here there were even _more_ curtains and tacky lighting. Tanith told Emilie that it was all right, they were fine now and she could go. The woman gave a smile and headed back to the front of the store.

"Okay," said Tanith, rubbing her hands together, "Let's get started."

* * *

Valkyrie was surprised she hadn't worn every dress in the shop. They'd been there for what? An hour? Maybe two. Probably four. The redhead had just taken to loitering about behind the desk, and no other customers had come in. She seemed bored. She likely _was_ bored. Valkyrie knew _she_ was bored.

Well, that could have been a little bit of a lie. _Could_ have been. Just a tad. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. After all, she did look _amazing_ in those dresses.

"What do you think?" Valkyrie said, drawing back the changing room curtains with a flourish. "Am I not supremely attractive?"

"Ask _Skulduggery_, not me," Tanith laughed, "But if you _are_, it's not because of the colour."

"You're right," said Valkyrie. She looked down at herself. "This is _so_ not my shade. I mean, what is this even? Cream? Beige?"

"It doesn't matter," Tanith assured her, "Because I've found something _way_ better than _that_ thing. Wait here."

Then she walked away, humming. She had neglected to bring her sword with her; something that Valkyrie was immensely grateful for and also concerned about. Tanith loved that sword more than Skulduggery loved his Bentley, and it wasn't uncommon for her to experience symptoms of separation anxiety over its absence. Nobody wanted to bear witness to _that_.

Valkyrie stayed where she was, turned around to face herself in the mirror. Even if the beige didn't work, the dress still fit nicely. Short in the front and long in the back, with ruffles along the skirt.

She thought about this and scowled, her lip curling upwards. When she thought about it, it was embarrassing to be _seen_ in this, regardless if it was only Tanith. Valkyrie didn't wear dresses. Especially not ruffled ones.

"Valkyrie," said Tanith, "Turn around."

Valkyrie turned around, saw that Tanith was holding a something in her arms. It was long and red and lacy looking.

"I said 'no lace'," Valkyrie told her dully.

"And I say to keep an open mind. Throw it on. You'll love it."

"Uh huh," she raised an eyebrow.

"I _promise_!"

"You know, I just don't believe you. Poutine, remember?"

"That was _ages_ ago!" cried Tanith, "come on, _please_?"

"It was last night," Valkyrie said, but took the gown anyway.

* * *

The dress was perfect. _Perfect_, with a capital 'P'. It was dark crimson satin, floor-length, with a sweetheart neckline. A layer of lace covered the entire thing, and then some. Black lacework traced its way down her arms and up to her throat, crisscrossing the skirt and chest.

"Do you love it?" Tanith asked after Valkyrie had been staring at herself for a full minute.

Her mouth hung agape in awe. "I _love_ it. We're buying this. Now."

"Do you have any cash?"

Valkyrie startled. "No! Do you?!"

"Of course! Get changed and we'll buy it."

"How much is it?"

"You sincerely want to know?"

Valkyrie considered this for a moment. "Not really."

"Great," Tanith said with a smile, "Then there shouldn't be a problem."

* * *

They met up with Ghastly and Skulduggery shortly after paying. Emilie seemed relieved to watch them go. Quite frankly, so was Valkyrie. Too much shopping made her feel claustrophobic.

"Hello, boys," Tanith said, swung herself into a chair. The food court was predictably busy, it being sometime around midday. "Miss us?"

"You were gone for 45 minutes," Skulduggery replied, "Barely noticed you were gone."

"45 _minutes_?!" Valkyrie shrieked, "It felt like _forever_!"

"What's in that bag?" Ghastly asked, pointing to the dress.

"Absolutely nothing." Tanith said.

"Spending money on _clothes_?" Skulduggery said, "Really, for a pair of highly trained warriors, you two can be such _women_."

"We also happen to _be_ women," Valkyrie said.

"Mm, that could be it."

"It could be."

"And besides, out of all of us, _you_ shouldn't talk. It's not _me_ who has an entire room dedicated to hats!"

"A man of my calibre must dress accordingly," he reminded her smugly.

"I have an idea," said Tanith, "Why don't those of us who can actually digest stuff get food? We can eat, get Val a coat, and leave."

"What a marvellous plan," said Skulduggery, "Valkyrie, buy yourself some lunch."

"I don't have money. And I don't speak French."

"Fortunately for you, you don't _need_ French," he grinned and reached in to his pocket, pulled out a wad of plastic, "And _I_ have money."

She accepted the dollar bills with grace. "Thank goodness for you," she said, "I don't know how I'd manage!"

"Yes, it would be a struggle, wouldn't it?"

"Well, considering I lived twelve whole years of my life _without_ you, I'd say I'd be rather helpless. I've only been your partner for what, seven years?"

"You can't deny that the quality of those seven years were significantly greater than those twelve."

She laughed and stood. "No, I suppose I can't. Monsters and evil guys and almost dying. It's been a riot!"

"Magic too!"

But she had already walked away.

* * *

They finished eating shortly, and with some forward thinking, purchased sandwiches and two thermoses of hot chocolate for later. Skulduggery bought Valkyrie a black winter coat that somehow was able to be both fashionable and functional at the same time, and they went on their way towards the rink.

Or, at least, that's where Skulduggery _said_ they were going. Bastard wouldn't mention specifics, much to the annoyance of Valkyrie.

"Is it out of town?" she asked him.

"Wait and see," he said.

Valkyrie frowned and whipped her head to see a rapidly shrinking green sign. "It says 'Now leaving Montreal'."

"I'd imagine it does."

"So it _is_ out of town."

"Yes, I reckon so."

"You couldn't just tell me that?"

"It would ruin the surprise."

She had no response to that. She sighed.

"Anyone up for a round of Eye Spy?" Valkyrie offered.

"Isn't that a game for kids?" asked Skulduggery.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"My brain is having trouble _processing_ your question. It doesn't understand how those words could have come out of your mouth."

"You don't _have_ a brain."

"Funnily enough, I knew that. Now, is there any real reason behind you asking this?"

"Well, _now_ there is. There wasn't before. Before, I was bored. Now, I'm _very_ bored."

"How very quick of you, to change like that."

"Do you want to play or not?"

"I don't see why not! So long as Ghastly joins us."

"Sorry, Skul." Ghastly said. "I'm afraid it's below my dignity."

"And _I'm_ afraid that's bollocks," Tanith said, yanking him by his tie. "We're playing."

"Well, _good_," said Valkyrie. "I spy something white."

"I'm still thinking that you're ill," Skulduggery told her, "Is it the snow?"

"No…" she paused. He threw her a look. "I mean, _yes_, it's the snow."

"_Brilliant_," he exclaimed with a grin, "Aren't I _brilliant_ at this game?"

"Only because I went easy this round!"

"You mean because you're terrible at this."

"Am _not_! I wasn't sure if you'd ever played before!"

Behind them, Tanith winked at Ghastly. "I spy denial," she sang.

Valkyrie glared. "Let's just turn on the radio."

* * *

**AN- Well, I wish I had a better excuse for you guys. You were all amazing, while I took forever to update. All I can say is that school got the better of me, and then when I was about to update, the power went out (which sounds ridiculous here, but was actually true). Thank you all for your patience. I'll probably post the next chapter tonight, since this was just filler.**

**Edit: (oops, I forgot translations, it seems) _Bonjour! Puis-je vous aider? -_ Hello, can I help you? _Belle journée, n'est-ce pas - _Nice day, isn't it? _En fait, oui, vous __pouvez_ m'aider avec quelque chose - In fact, you _can _help me with something _Mon amie a besoin d'une robe -_ My friend needs a dress _Mais, elle est un __peu_ têtue, donc... - But she's a bit stubborn, so... _Oh, vous êtes __britanniques!_ Seulement en visite? - Oh, you're British! Just visiting? _Moi, je suis britanniques. Elle… elle est Irlandaise. -_ Me, I'm British. She... she's Irish. _Et, je __suppose_ que vous pourriez dire que... - And I suppose you could say that...  
**


	15. Snow

It was later in the afternoon by the time they reached their destination. Skulduggery pulled up on the side of the road, parked the Volkswagen. The sun was already disappearing behind the trees, casting a golden glow upon the forest. It was beautiful.

Too bad Valkyrie couldn't get past the sheer _number_ of forests in Canada. It seemed as though everywhere they went, there was another. She'd look to the right, and – oo, a tree! – and then to the left – and if that wasn't _also_ a tree! – and finally she just settled for making conversation with the other members of the group, instead of focusing on what was outside.

Valkyrie glanced at the sights beyond her window. To her mild surprise, there were a lot of trees and no buildings anywhere.

"Rink?" she asked, puzzled.

"Well, I _say_ rink. More like a pond, really," Skulduggery said.

"And the pond's frozen?"

He fixed her with a funny expression. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Valkyrie shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it's cold enough, yeah?"

Tanith laughed. "If ten below is cold enough, then _absolutely_! Isn't it fun?"

"Better than minus thirty," Ghastly said.

"Still bloody freezing," Valkyrie grumbled.

"That's what coats are for," Skulduggery told her.

They got out of the car, and Valkyrie's foot sunk immediately into a pile of snow.

"Ick," she said, "Gagh!"

"Yes, thank you," Skulduggery said, tipping off his hat. He passed her the winter jacket he had been holding. "That was very profound."

Valkyrie glared at him and put on her coat. She had to admit, despite being sort of an inconvenience, it made her feel warmer.

"It's a winter _wonderland_!" Tanith enthused, "I feel like I'm in one of those old films!"

"I suppose that's the monochromatic colour scheme," said Ghastly. And he was right. The trees were black and the snow was white and the shadows hung on various shades of grey. It was picturesque.

"It's wet," said Valkyrie, "I have snow in my boots."

"Well, now," said Tanith, "Maybe if a certain someone would lace them up how they were _supposed_ to, that wouldn't be a problem!"

"Maybe if someone would just explain to me where this pond is-"

"And that's why you follow _me_," Skulduggery announced from ahead. He had made considerable progress in his journey, electing to begin the trek while everyone else had been distracted. "I _always_ know where I'm going."

Ghastly was leaning against the Beetle, arms crossed and looking entertained. "I bet I could find some evidence against that."

"I'm _wounded_! After all we've been through together? And you still don't trust my sense of direction?" The skeleton put a gloved hand to where his heart should have been, mock offended.

With a glance at each other, Tanith and Valkyrie started forward. Ghastly caught up with them soon after, and they made their way together.

* * *

Valkyrie soon found herself envying the grace with which the others moved. Tanith and Skulduggery were as light as cats, darting through the almost knee-deep snow like it was nothing. _She_, on the other hand, hopped rather comically through the footsteps of whoever was in front of her at the time.

At one point, a hunk of snow fell from one of the branches above, landed on her head.

"Cold!" Valkyrie screeched, arched her back as the substance melted, pouring off her head and, well, down her back. "Cold! Cold, cold, cold, _cold_!"

Tanith chuckled. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were cold."

"My back," Valkyrie muttered angrily. "Snow went down my back."

"I'm sorry, you weren't obvious enough with your dancing around. Snow went down _what_?"

"Down my throat and into my heart," she spat, stomping forward. "And there's no reason to be so sarcastic."

Tanith gave a giggle. "If there's anyone around here with snow in their hearts, it's Ghastly. He won't even _carry_ me through this!"

"Hey now!" the man protested, "Like you'd _let_ me!"

"You were managing pretty well on your own," Valkyrie told Tanith. "If anyone's carrying anyone, it should be Skulduggery carrying _me_."

"I don't think so," the skeleton said. He was now several paces in the lead. "Your walking through snow is pathetic, but it's not _that_ pathetic."

"You're just a big chunk of ice, you know that? Like Quebec is. Icy heart, icy…."

"At least I keep a _cool_ head!" he said and laughed.

Valkyrie stared at him. "And you make fun of me for _my_ jokes. That was awful."

He flashed her a grin. "It was brilliant."

"It was _terrible_! An insult to humour everywhere!"

"I'm starting to think you have snow in your heart after all."

She rolled her eyes. "Ha. You're funny."

"Why, thank you." he took a bow.

"If I were better with the air element, I'd use it to dump all that snow on to you right now."

"I'm sure you would."

She sighed. They were side-by-side, and Ghastly and Tanith had overtaken them. The couple were chatting about something or other, but Valkyrie couldn't make out specifics.

"Skulduggery," she said, "Can I melt the snow?"

He peered at her with narrowed eyes. "And why would you want to do that?"

"Because it's annoying?"

"What a _hardship_."

"Please? Just whatever's in front of me?"

"You really have it in for winter, don't you?" he said, bringing his hand to his face. "Blimey! My cheeks sting!"

Valkyrie looked at him. His cheeks were indeed, very pink. "That's 'cause it's freezing and you still have your façade on! What were you thinking?"

"How nice it is to have a face for a change?"

Valkyrie halted in her steps, placed her hands on her hips. "You _do_ have a face! It's just… er… a _bonier_ one! And it's the one I like best, so take off your façade. It's distracting."

A black eyebrow found its way up to his forehead. His lips pulled into a smirk. "You're very demanding today."

"I am. Take it off."

He unclasped the buttons of his shirt, reached for his collarbone. The face disappeared, revealing the ivory skull beneath.

"Better?" he asked.

Valkyrie realized she was smiling. "Much."

They continued walking.

* * *

It wasn't much longer before they came upon a slight clearing, the sunlight glistening on the obscured pond.

"Wow," said Tanith.

"Whoah," said Valkyrie.

"Hm," said Ghastly.

The skeleton remained quiet. His head was cocked to the side, as if he was thinking about something important. Eventually, all eyes detached themselves from the sight of the snow-buried rink and fixed instead on Skulduggery.

"Did anyone bring a shovel?" he asked.

Tanith snorted, shaking her head. "You're an idiot."

Valkyrie frowned for an instant, looking confused. Then it dawned on her, and rolled her eyes back, angling her face toward the sky. A laugh bubbled out of her and she looked at Skulduggery. "Oh, Gods, you really _are_!"

"Damn it! I'm usually so _good_ at these things!" His fingers snapped together, producing a small flicker of flame. "What did I miss?"

Ghastly just gave him a look that could only be taken to have one highly insulting meaning. "I don't believe that a shovel is the _only_ option for clearing snow."

Skulduggery gave the equivalent of a wink and waved his arm in an extravagant motion.

"Oh, you mean _magic_?"

The air rippled from his palms, his fingertips, raced across the clearing. For a few seconds, all was a blur of white as the flakes were caught up in the current, being carried away. Valkyrie felt some land in her hair, alight on her face. She didn't mind.

When everything had settled, the pond was clear and free of all debris. Smooth ice coated the surface. Tanith could see a school of small fish frozen beneath.

"Always the dramatic one, aren't we?" Ghastly mused. He had a dusting of white on his head.

"I look to impress," Skulduggery replied shortly, "now… skates?"

* * *

It turned out that lacing up skates was something not entirely like lacing up a shoe. With their rigid structure and the fact that her fingers were bloody _frozen_, Valkyrie felt less than qualified to call her skate-tying 'successful'.

Tanith noticed her predicament. "Need some help?"

Valkyrie sent her a beseeching look.

"Right." Tanith got to work on the laces.

"Did you really take figure skating when you were younger?"

"Did you really dance around in your room with your pillow singing jazz songs?"

Valkyrie winced. "Can we not mention that? Like, _ever_?"

The other woman smiled. "Of course. And that goes both ways."

"Yep. Agreed. No skating, no pillows. Deal."

Tanith tugged particularly hard on her left foot, wrestling the string in to a knot. "_And_ we're _done_!" she cried and stood up, clasping her hands together. "How did I do, Val? Stand up! Try them out!"

Reluctantly, she did so, pushing herself up from the cold ground to teeter on unstable feet. How people could do this on _ice_, she didn't know.

She took a step forward, unbalanced, and tripped. Tanith caught her easily, balancing Valkyrie once more. "You are _so_ going to fall. This'll be fun!"

"You keep using that word," Valkyrie said, her face set in determination. She wobbled her way to the pond, Tanith hovering in case she toppled again. "I do not think it means what you think it means."

"Just get on the ice already!" Tanith said before gliding out on to the pond. Ghastly joined her soon after, and they made their trip around and around, albeit a bit precariously.

Valkyrie glanced around, but didn't see Skulduggery. She didn't trust herself to be able to stand on her own, and Ghastly and Tanith were too lovesick to help her.

"Valkyrie, if you don't mind, I'd like for you to step foot on that ice within the next century or so," rang a voice from behind her, low and full of amusement.

She whirled around, too fast for her feet to follow, and suddenly she was stepping backwards, on to the ice, her arms spinning like mad windmills in the air.

Skulduggery took hold of her wrist, steadied her. He paused as she studied him, and then chuckled. "At least you didn't faint this time."

The bewilderment quickly became anger. "Well it's not _my_ fault that you always come at unexpected times! You startled me!"

"I was right here the entire time!"

"I call bollocks. You were nowhere in sight."

He sighed. "Okay. Fine. I went back for the hot chocolate." Skulduggery spun her round again, took hold of her other hand, began skating backward.

"No way!" Valkyrie said, "I'm not getting on this stuff. I am going to fall and then it will hurt and Tanith will laugh at me."

"Firstly," he said, "I didn't suggest ice skating so that you could sit in the snow and watch it. Secondly, you will fall, but it won't hurt because you'll use the air as a cushion-"

Valkyrie coughed. She knew how to do _that_ much, at least, but she wasn't up for trying now.

"-Er, right. You won't hurt yourself because I will _catch_ you. Thirdly, and also lastly, Tanith will laugh at you anyway. And so will I. It is our given right. Hers because she is pregnant and has a large sword, and mine because I am amazing. So get moving."

Valkyrie attempted to glare at him. She really did! Tried her best. But in the end there was nothing to do but let herself be pulled along onto the solid water by a smooth-talking skeleton in a suit, grinning all the while.

* * *

**AN- So I have this thing about never actually getting to the plot. Sorry about that. Next chapter to have fluffy skating goodness. Promise. (Also, Princess Bride quote, anyone?) And thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this story. Y'all are awesome.**


	16. Concerns

Skulduggery hadn't been lying when he said that Tanith was a good skater. She was _amazing_. The girl moved like she did with everything else- with utter poise. Her blonde hair whipped about as she broke apart from Ghastly, did a small twirl.

"_Tanith_," said her lover, "be _careful_!"

She tossed him a smirk, continued. "Whatever for, _darling_?"

The tone was mocking. Ghastly ceased midstride, folded his arms across his chest. "You're pregnant. You're doing dangerous things. You could get hurt."

Tanith rolled her eyes. "We happen to be on a mission. A potentially _dangerous_ mission. I think it's a little late to be worrying about me."

Ghastly grumbled. "Nothing dangerous has happened _yet_."

"Don't jinx it!" Valkyrie called at him, taking a step forward as she did so. She careened with a jolt as her toe hit a crack in the ice, causing her to lose her balance. She didn't have the chance to test how hard the ice was, however, because a mere instant after she tripped, there were strong arms supporting her, setting her upright.

"Want me to catch you?" Skulduggery asked with a chuckle, reminiscent of that night a long, long time ago.

She grinned up at him. "If you wouldn't mind."

He took a step backward, not relinquishing his grip on her arms. He'd seen what happened when he let go of a skating Valkyrie, even for a second.

"I thought you said this skating stuff was _easy_," she said in a tone that was only half joking. She glided forward in time to Skulduggery's movements.

"It _is_ easy," Skulduggery protested, "You're just incompetent!"

"And you're a bad teacher. Look at _Ghastly_! He's doing alright!"

"Ghastly is Ghastly," he shrugged.

"An astute observation."

He looked proud. "I _am_ good at those, aren't I?"

"You're ridiculous."

"I'm a detective."

"And there we go again with the obviou-" Valkyrie threw her hands in the air, forgetting. The sudden momentum sent her staggering. Skulduggery grasped at her wrists, stopping her from falling.

"Twice in a minute? Valkyrie Cain, you have the _worst_ habit for falling in ice skates."

"And just how many times did _you_ fall the first time you went skating?"

"Zero."

She raised an eyebrow, taking a step and letting him guide her directions. "Zero."

"That's what I said. I'm too graceful for falling."

"Even if someone pushes you?"

"And just _what_ might you be suggesting, Ms. Cain?"

She tilted her head slightly, giving a pensive look. "Oh, I don't know... but wouldn't it be unfortunate if, say, a gust of wind came down and sort of _knocked_ you off balance?"

"Better knocked _off_ than knocked _up_! I won't be envying Tanith in a few months!"

Valkyrie stared. "And you said _my_ jokes were bad."

"They _are_ bad," he said, "watch your step."

She sucked in a breath, angled her skates to avoid a small divot. "Couldn't we have found someplace smooth? Like, an arena?"

"Ah, but indoor rinks share a quality similar to doors; they're for people with no imagination!"

"They're for people with a brain."

Skulduggery took one of his hands from her grip and tapped on his skull. "Precisely why I don't go to them."

Try as she did, Valkyrie didn't have a witty comeback for that. "Let me know when you think of one," said Skulduggery.

* * *

Valkyrie never did think of one, even half an hour later. She was skating on her own by then, just tiny strides around the pond. Meanwhile, Tanith was seeing how many laps she could do for every one Valkyrie did. Which was a lot.

"That's _seven_!" the woman shouted as she whipped by, her features a blur. A few seconds later and another number was called out. "Eight!"

Valkyrie scowled and forced herself to go faster. "You're not being very encouraging, you know!"

"Nine!"

"_Tanith_!"

"Ten," she called out while laughing.

Valkyrie came to a rolling halt. "Skulduggery, she's being mean to me!"

The skeleton was lingering around the edges of the pond along with Ghastly. Somewhere along the way, they'd lost them to the world of solid ground. Ghastly left because he couldn't keep up with Tanith, and she kept teasing him about it besides. And eventually, Valkyrie became fed up with Skulduggery's prowess at seemingly _everything_. So, as was custom, she kicked him off the rink.

He really _was_ good at everything.

Honestly. He could fight, he could sing, he could skate, and he dressed like classier than the protagonist of a 1920s talkie. How did anyone compete with _that_?

Luckily, she didn't have to come up with an answer, because Skulduggery replied. Despite him not actually having skin, and therefore not expressions, Valkyrie had always been able to tell what he was feeling. A distinctive tilt of the head if he was thinking about something important, a bob in another direction if he was exasperated, a certain stance about him when he was amused.

Right now he was definitely amused.

"And…?" he asked expectantly.

"And _nothing_!" Valkyrie pouted, "Tanith's being mean. I don't like it. I want it to stop."

"And you want _me_ to stop it for you?" The permanent grin of his skull had never been so perfect for his mood before.

Valkyrie fidgeted where she stood, rolling back and forth on the ice. "Yes!"

Skulduggery gave an odd mixture of a chuckle and a sigh, tapped Ghastly's shoulder. The tailor frowned in confusion at him, fixed his gaze where Skulduggery's finger had touched him.

"Valkyrie wants me to tell you to tell your girlfriend to stop being mean to her," he explained.

"I never said that!" cried Valkyrie, indignant.

"But you _wanted_ to," said the skeleton, "isn't it the thought that counts?"

Ghastly watched this exchange with raised eyebrows. He crossed his arms. "Er…."

Next to Valkyrie, Tanith came screeching to a halt, spraying snow onto both of their legs. "Oh, nuts. _Really_? Is this what we're all congregated for? Because Valkyrie's a poor skater and I'm not?"

"You don't have to rub it _in_," said Valkyrie, "I'm sure you were awful too, the first time you tried it."

"Probably," Tanith agreed, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"So why are you bringing it up with me?"

"Val, the first time I set foot on ice, I was _four_."

"And I'm nineteen! I don't see how this has got to do with anything!"

The older woman reached over, put a hand on Valkyrie's hair and ruffled it. "See, this is why I like you; you're feisty and stubborn and don't put up with anyone. And you'll never stop fighting for your point. You're relentless!" She put on a wide grin, a wild glint in her eyes.

"I give up," Valkyrie groaned, stamped her foot. She was somewhat surprised when the action failed to send her off balance. So she was improving. That was good. That was something

"Come on, I'll teach you better than Skul ever could," Tanith giggled, took Valkyrie's arm.

If Skulduggery had been offended by that, he didn't comment.

* * *

The two men stood together, watched their companions skate around. Every time Tanith attempted any sort of leap or twirl, Ghastly would flinch, expecting… something. He didn't know exactly what. Then Valkyrie would fumble, and Ghastly saw Skulduggery restrain himself from going over to her. Wouldn't do to appear overprotective.

"It's stressful, isn't it?" He sympathised. "Being in love. I didn't used to worry, not about her. She can handle herself. But lately…."

"Mm," said Skulduggery, not wanting to agree too whole-heartedly on that front.

"You're not fooling anyone, you know," Ghastly reminded him, "We all can see how you look at her."

"I'm sorry?"

The expression on Ghastly's face told Skulduggery just how much of an idiot his friend thought he was. "_Valkyrie_. Your partner. We all know."

"She's my partner," Skulduggery repeated numbly.

"Yeah, and I'm sure that's all she is to you."

"I haven't a clue what you mean."

The tailor shook his head. "Don't play daft; it doesn't suit you."

"We were talking about Tanith. You worry about her now?"

"That wasn't very subtle," Ghastly told him, "But fine. We'll avoid the talk on Valkyrie."

"Oh, good."

"For now."

"Damn it. There's always a catch."

Ghastly chuckled. "Always is."

"So you're worried about Tanith."

"Well…."

"Well…?"

"She's pregnant."

"So I've been told."

"That changes things."

"Does it?"

"Of course! Maybe… no? I don't know! This is ridiculous."

"It is a bit," Skulduggery affirmed.

"What was it like?" asked Ghastly suddenly, "For you, I mean. Did you get… unsure?

"Please, Ghastly, I'm afraid I understand what you're trying to say too much. Could you be a bit more vague?" If Skulduggery had eyes, they would have been rolling.

"How do I be a good father and a good husband to her?"

"You're doing alright now, aren't you?"

"Am I? I don't know. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to help her, though. She gets all these… moods… and I don't know how to act when she's like that. And… kids… that's a big step, Skulduggery. We're not even married! I mean, a year ago she'd have tried to _kill_ me! And now she's pregnant with my child! I just, I don't want to disa-"

"Ghastly," said Skulduggery, "shut up. You'll be fine. Nothing to it, really. Just do what you normally do."

The tailor relaxed some, the tension ebbing out of his body. "Thanks, I guess. I just thought, with you having gone through it all, that there might be some advice you could give."

"Do you love Tanith?"

"What?" Ghastly was puzzled, "I'm going to _propose_ to her, aren't I? Of _course_ I love her! Where were you these past few years?"

"Must be love," the skeleton nodded, "you're not usually this long-winded."

"Well, it's not your typical domestic arrangement, is it?"

"With a sword-wielding, wall-walking girl from London? No, I suppose not."

Ghastly found his gaze gravitating towards the woman he loved. "I can't seem to keep my head around her."

"It's still connected to your body, though. That's more than can be said for some. Trust me, Ghastly, you're lucky to be with the one you love."

The other man nodded absently, still focused on a giggling Tanith. She was doing dance moves with Valkyrie now, whirling the younger girl around and around like a spinning top. Eventually, they both toppled over on top of one another, laughing like maniacs.

"Hey, Skulduggery," said Ghastly, without altering his view. "Aren't we supposed to be on a mission?"

* * *

**AN- I'm not dead. I _am_ sorry, though. I have my excuses, but won't bore you all with them. I meant to update this last week, but my computer had other plans. Like, deleting the document plans. Not good plans. So I'd like to thank everyone and anyone who stuck with this, and favourited, followed, and/or reviewed. It means a lot to me and makes my day just that much better. **

**There was a lot of unexpected Ghastly in this one. Hope I did alright? (If he's out of character, it's on purpose. Unless someone thinks it really needs to be changed.)**


	17. Hidden

_"Hey, Skulduggery," said Ghastly, without altering his view. "Aren't we supposed to be on a mission?"_

* * *

The skeleton turned to him, head tilted. "I'm sorry?"

"Mission."

He let out a chuckle. "Ah, mission. Right," Skulduggery scratched the side of his skull, "Er… yes? I mean, yes! Yes, we are."

He nodded, looking exuberantly pleased with himself. Ghastly just stared.

"I'm going to assume that you have some brilliant sort of plan concocted that involves ice skating and that this is not a pointless scheme to make Valkyrie happy."

Skulduggery froze. "Er… yes! You do that! Brilliant sort of plan, that's me!"

"Just tell me _why_, Skul," Ghastly sighed, "I _know_ how you feel about her, and I _know_ how rough things have been for the past, well, _year_, and I know that you've been acting strange lately and I just want to know _why_?"

"Why put the life of Dexter Vex at risk simply so I can bring a smile to my partner's face?" There was no emotion in his voice. It was hollow.

"Is that what this is?" Ghastly frowned, a flicker of anger butting his eyes.

"That's what you think it is."

"No, I _didn't_ think that until about five seconds ago, when you _said_ it!"

"Oh, good."

"Maybe I do _now_!"

"That's not what this is." Skulduggery assured him.

Ghastly still hadn't lost his anger. "It better as hell not be. You're not usually like this. I haven't seen you act this erratic since…."

"I know," said Skulduggery, "It's _awful_."

"It's annoying, to say the least, but why _are_ we here?"

"Always to the point, Ghastly, and that's why I like you! You stand up to bad guys and are witty to the point of excess! Remember that one time when-"

"You're thinking of Valkyrie, not me. Now answer the question."

"Daemon can't get anything for us until tonight at the earliest."

"And…? Come on, you know there are other ways we could have spent this day. More productive ways."

Skulduggery acted as though the conversation they were having was the most painful thing in the universe. "And…" he began, "And my partner hasn't been herself lately so I wanted to make sure that she was alright and I thought I'd give us all a day off so she could recover. Also, jet-lag."

"'Just your partner' my arse," Ghastly muttered under his breath, disguising his words with a cough.

"Subtle," Skulduggery commented, "You're one cruel man, Ghastly Bespoke."

"And just what does that make _you_?"

"The entire reason we're _here_ is because I was demonstrating my niceness."

"Your infatuation, more like."

"This conversation is over."

"Not if I-"

"She's _coming_, shut up!"

Ghastly shook his head and laughed. In front of them, Valkyrie waddled to the edge of the ice, her cheeks flushed from the cold and the exercise. It suited her, Skulduggery decided. That look of exhilaration after running, or fighting, or… skating. He'd always liked it.

"Please," Valkyrie said, "_tell_ me we brought that food and stuff with us to the pond. Tell me its not sitting all the way back in that car somewhere."

"Val's hungry!" Tanith's voice reached them from the ice.

"What time is it?" Ghastly asked to no one in particular. He cast his eyes skyward. They ignored him.

"Forgot it in the car," Skulduggery said cheerily.

The look on Valkyrie's face was one of unadulterated horror. Skulduggery stared at her for a few moments, taking in the sight of her eyes. They were swirling with anger. Strong feeling to have towards food. But then, he was a little out of touch with hunger.

"I'm kidding," he deadpanned.

"Wasn't funny," she gasped, still somewhat catatonic.

"We should get you some food. You look dreadful."

"I'm in shock," she exclaimed, offended, "You had me thinking I was going to have to walk all the way back just for some sandwiches!"

"Well, you don't," he said, a touch of pride colouring his voice. He seemed unusually pleased with about remembering to bring a couple of thermoses and plastic wrapping.

"So…" she trailed off, "where are they exactly?"

* * *

Their supper was consumed in a less than timely fashion, as Ghastly and Tanith joined in on the meal. Jokes and stories were shared between them, and Valkyrie received a little more insight into how things were going between the two lovebirds. She learned a bit more than she cared to on the subject of Ghastly's prowess, and promptly clamped a hand over Tanith's mouth.

"That's disgusting!" she retched, "Gods, Tanith, I'm _eating_! Or I was _trying_ to until _that_ lovely description!"

"Oops," said Tanith, and to her credit, she did look embarrassed. Ghastly, sitting next to her, had constructed his expression to be as not amused as possible. He was doing a very good job of it.

Skulduggery spoke up. "While this is all very enlightening, I really would remind you that it's getting late."

Valkyrie snorted. Since when did _he_ care? The skeleton caught her glance.

"And while I'd be perfectly content to stay here under normal circumstances, we _do_ have a case tomorrow. We'll be meeting an old acquaintance of mine, a Mr. Charles Daemon. He should have some information for us on Revenant."

"Sounds like fun," Ghastly said, in the tone of someone who knows when he has his work cut out for him.

"Should be."

"You're not worried about Dexter, then?" asked Valkyrie, expressing it as a statement rather than a question.

"Not terribly at the moment, no," Skulduggery answered, "I trust Vex. He's capable of handling situations like this. Chances are, he's gone undercover somewhere and just forgot the times."

"But he hasn't told anything to Ravel."

"I looked into that. Ravel and he left their last exchange on a less than good note. Vex was annoyed at him getting all stuffy and 'Elderly'."

"Ah. So this lack of communication thing might only be Dexter's charming personality?"

"That's what we're hoping."

"No guarantees, obviously," Ghastly reminded them. Valkyrie's eyes flickered downwards. Like they needed to be told.

There was a silence after that, each of them pensive about one thing or another. Tanith frowned into her cocoa, appearing as though she might run it through with her sword. Valkyrie traced pictures in the snow with a stick, and Skulduggery watched her, his poker face impeccable. She knew he was watching, could _feel_ the pressure of his gaze as it sent tingles down the back of her neck, but she couldn't do anything about it. What did you say to something like that? 'I'm sorry, but the intensity of your eye sockets on me is making me feel too exposed and over-clothed all at the same time'?

That wouldn't do. She tossed the stick away at the absurdity of the thought. Then, brightening her features, rose to face the situation. "I have an idea," Valkyrie announced, "And that idea is that we all go back to the car, turn the heat on full."

Tanith grinned. "And then go off to do whatever it is we're going to be doing?"

"Exactly," Valkyrie said with satisfaction, "But maybe sooner than later? I'm _freezing_!"

"I'm not," Skulduggery gloated. Valkyrie swatted him.

"Do you even get cold?"

"I'm a cold-hearted killer, does that count?"

"Not if it's not true, it doesn't."

"Are you implying-"

"Not implying anything," Valkyrie said hurriedly, a scowl setting in. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

She found her way into the back seat of the vehicle, an action that rather surprised her. Even more shocking was the presence of a certain skeleton, edging in next to her.

"Didn't make you mad, did I?" he asked, and she couldn't quite put a finger on what he meant.

Valkyrie shook her head.

"Oh," Skulduggery breathed, "that's good. Grumpy partners are bad partners, that's what I always say!"

"I'm pretty sure you just made that up on the spot, because _we've_ been together for _years_ and you hav-" she stopped herself suddenly, biting her lip and flushing red. "I mean, not _that_ together, not _together_ together, erm… not the kind of together that Ghastly and Tanith are, and uh…."

She glanced nervously up at him. He regarded her with some amusement. Valkyrie ducked her head again, letting her dark hair hide her embarrassment.

"Well, you're right, you know," he said.

"Mm?" she still couldn't trust herself to speak, lest she fall into a repeat of… well… _that_.

"Absolutely. Not an ounce of truth to that saying. A grumpy partner can be a very _good_ partner, especially if she goes by the name of Valkyrie Cain. You've been crabby so many times and you're great!"

"I am, aren't I," she flattered herself, glad that her momentary lapse in judgement had passed.

Skulduggery gave a chuckle at that before turning to berate Ghastly for not starting the vehicle sooner. The tailor gave the weak excuse of waiting for the car to warm up and Tanith rolled her eyes and clambered over him to seat herself in between Skulduggery and Valkyrie.

"Hurry up," she snapped mockingly at her lover, "See what being slow gets you."

Valkyrie was blinking at her, puzzled at the change in direction the conversation was taking. The blonde flashed a smile.

"Why hello, you two."

* * *

Predictably, with Tanith, one could expect a plethora of silly, childish games to emerge into routine. One such being the famed 'I Spy…', which was enjoyed for a duration of fifteen minutes before Skulduggery pleaded insanity in order to get Valkyrie to stop guessing.

"You're terrible at that game," he told her. She had to believe him. With the clue of 'something that is white', the entire thing should have been over within seconds. But how was she supposed to know you were allowed to pick objects _inside_?

Tanith had erupted into laughter when Valkyrie had admitted defeat. "It's Skul's _head_, Val!" she roared, "His _head_! Oh, God, hearing you guess 'that patch of snow' so many times!"

An elbow to the shoulder silenced her swiftly. Valkyrie smirked, victorious despite having lost the game. Tanith proceeded to pester her about senseless things, while Skulduggery nursed his self-pity by staring dejectedly out the window.

And for a while, everything was fine.

Until it wasn't.

* * *

When she came to, Valkyrie was reeling on the floor of the car, her head bashing repeatedly into Tanith's bony knee. She had a feeling that things were not completely alright with her brain-tongue communication process, as she could barely make out a moan of 'Skulduggery' without the dullness in her mouth morphing it in to something akin to 'skrffhlliiigggli'.

"Valkyrie!" The voice of Tanith echoed in her head. The words stabbed and hung in the air, the echoes overlapping each other in confusing patterns and colours. Colours… those were….

All she could see was grey.

"_Valkyrie_!"

_Skulduggery_.

And then there were lights. Lights of all different kinds, forming jagged shapes that rushed toward her eyes. Valkyrie cried out and thrust a hand out to ward them off. "Nnnn!"

Hands or talons or claws grabbed her. Tugged her up on to the seat again. Clutched her aching body to them. Whispered words twisted into daggers.

Dreams came. The person that was Valkyrie Cain whimpered.

They were _all dead_.

And _she_ just laughed.

And laughed.

And _laughed_.

The dreams were nightmares.

* * *

**AN- I know, I know. You can all murder me if you'd like. Personally, I like to leave the murdering bit to the authors, as they're utter pros at it. *cough*Derek Landy *cough*. You've all seen that blog post, yes? Probably a bit stale now, but heartkilling anyhow. I'm trying to write ahead in these chapters before I post, so I don't screw anything up. Sorry about that. The biggest props in the world go out to Solania, who, unlike me, can actually learn a second language. It's because of her that there are some adjustments made to the French. So yeah, internet cookies for all!**


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